Don't Think Just Feel
by iHEARTdamon05
Summary: Peyton was abducted 2 months ago. What will happen when she tries to escape from their grasp? And what will happen when she tries to get back to reality and finds it’s not as easy as she thought? Will Lucas be there to save her and bring her back?
1. Bucky and Snapper

**WRITTEN BY:** _Shell_

**TITLE: **_Don't Think... Just Feel_

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not own any of the OTH characters... too bad Mark does..._

**SCENARIO: **_Peyton was abducted 2 months ago. What will happen when she tries to escape from their grasp? And what will happen when she tries to get back to reality and finds it's not as easy as she thought? Will Lucas be there to save her and bring her back? _

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys! This is a new fic of mine that I almost didn't write! I have 2 that I'm still writing and I didn't want another to add to the list. But this plot has been on my mind for weeks now and I couldn't help but want to write it! It's a pretty dark plot at first! I really don't know what possessed me to write it other than the fact that I saw it on the news the other day and made it into a fic! This fic is going to be all about Peyton and what she's going through! It will be told through her eyes, which is something I haven't ever done so bare with me until I get the hang of it! I will of course have Leyton in it, it's just going to be a while! The other cast members will be in it as well but not as frequent. Although things do change!** So without further adu... here is Don't Think... Just Feel! You may not understand the title until later on but when it comes to that you will understand why I chose that title.

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Why? Was all I could ask myself as I looked around this room I had been caged in a long time ago. I don't really know how long I've been here but to me it seems like years. I tried keeping track but it never seemed to work. I spent all the time I could sleeping and trying to find a way to escape only to find there was no way out. It didn't matter to them what I was going through or what they were doing to me. The only thing they seemed to care about was the satisfaction they got from hurting me.

Ever since I had been here they had done nothing but rape and abuse me. Every time I hear that dreaded car pull up I completely panic and automatically start crying. I'm not sure why I cry b/c it's not like my tears are going to help me get out of this. I guess it makes me feel better. It usually takes them about 20 minutes before they finally make it to the room I'm in. Sometimes there's more with them but most of the time it's just the 2 of them.

One of them was much taller and way bigger than the other. He had dark brown, almost black, curly hair. He had extremely dark eyes as well. He was pretty pale and had a scar right next to his right eye. He stood around 6 feet tall. I didn't know his name all I knew was that his friend always called him "Bucky".

His friend was much smaller than he was. He was the exact opposite of him. He had light hair and light eyes. He was very tan and he to had a scar on his face, only his was right on his jaw line. He stood about 5'9 tops. He friend always called him "Snapper".

Snapper was the nicer of the 2. Whenever Bucky would beat me he would always try and get him to stop. He never really wanted to hurt me. I could tell it in his eyes. But who was he to object. If he did Bucky would probably kill him. But that didn't make it right to do what he was doing.

Bucky was always the first one to walk in. He would come in with this horrible grin on his face and when he did I knew what was going to happen.

The first thing he would do was scream at me to take the 2 articles of clothing I had on, which was the t-shirt I was wearing when the kidnaped me and the underwear I had on. I was always to stubborn to comply and that's when he would beat me. He would always slap be right across my face and say it again. By this time I would be crying and holding on to my face. I would look at him with such hurt and sadness and beg for him to just let me go. Sometimes I think this is what made it so bad for me. It's like a game to him. The more I ask him to stop the rougher he is. It got to the point where I gave up fighting. I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I wasn't going to be able to just leave and get away from this so why put myself through the beating. The rape was enough.

He would go first and then he would make his friend go next. Sometimes he would say no and that they shouldn't be doing this, but Bucky would always come up with some reason as to why they had to do this. Most of the time he said it was b/c I had been asking for it. I never really understood this b/c I didn't do anything to deserve this.

I was a normal highschool girl. I was a cheerleader and I had a lot of friends and the best boyfriend I could have asked for. So why did I deserve this? Why was I the one picked for this torture. Was it b/c I was doing something they didn't like? Were they watching me and just waiting for there chance to get to me? I don't know. I tried for the longest time to figure it out, but what's the use. I'll never know.

Most of the time when they weren't there I would sit there and wonder why I hadn't been found. Was no one looking for me? I would always shake that thought from my mind by saying "I know that someone out there loves me enough to look for me... I just know it". I guess I was just trying to comfort myself b/c here I was... still sitting in this room.

When they would leave I would cry myself to sleep. It was my way of dealing with what was happening to me. I guess you could say I had pity for myself. Pity for being the one stuck here going through this hell. Sometimes I would scream to make the pain go away but it never worked. There was nothing that could take this pain away. Nothing.

Bucky and Snapper leave everyday around dark. They seemed to be on some sort of schedule. They leave in the morning right as the sun is coming up and return in late afternoon. They would come abuse me and then leave again at dark. This was an everyday thing. I studied there patterns and was using them to my advantage. If I was going to get out of here... I was going to have to do it by myself.

So for days I sat in this room contemplating what to do. The only problem I had was that they always made sure to lock the door before they left. Somehow I had to find a way to get them to forget about it. But how. The only thing I could think of was to agree with everything they wanted to do. To distract them from what they were doing. Throw them something different that they weren't expecting.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it more than likely wouldn't work, but what else did I have to go on. Nothing. Right now... I was willing to do anything to get out. So I decided that tomorrow would be the day I would do it. I would try my best to distract them from there normal routine and make them forget what they were doing.

It was either make them forget to leave the door unlocked or get them to open the window. I couldn't exactly reach the window b/c It was about a foot higher than I was. These were my tickets out of here. I wasn't sure how I would even get out of that window even if they did open it but I had to try.

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**OK! So there is the first chapter! I was trying to introduce what was happening to Peyton. I think I pretty much got my point across. The next chapter is Peyton's plan of action so to speak. I have that one ready and I am typing it up as soon as this is posted! I have never had to deal with this type of situation so I don't exactly know what would be going through someone's mind if they did but I'm trying more along the lines of putting myself in her shoes... What would I do if I had been kidnaped and not found. I would try and fight my way out. So if it's not exactly what you think would have happened then let me know and I'll see if I can change it up a bit! **

**LOVE SHELL**


	2. My Plan of Action

**CHAPTER 2: MY PLAN OF ACTION**

Before I knew it the next day was here. The day I was going to put my plan into action. The day I was gonna do anything I had to get back to my life. If I even still had a life. For all I know everyone I knew had moved on with there lives and forgotten about me. My dad, my best friend Brooke, My boyfriend Nathan... Everyone.

I sat there and waited for them to arrive back. Just like clockwork they were there. They made there way into this hell hole they call a house. I knew it was only a matter of time before they made there way back to where I was, and that's when I was going to do everything in my power to distract them.

Just as I had known they showed up in my own little corner of hell. When they walked in they were both surprised to see me standing there... fully undressed and waiting. Bucky walked further into the room with a large smirk on his face. He walked right up to me until he was only inches from my face. I almost started to panic but knew that if I did I would ruin my chance of ever getting out of here.

"I see you have started to warm up to me" I looked at him intensely trying to find the words to say. I looked over at Snapper who seemed to be in more shock than I could have ever thought. I looked back at Bucky as I finally found the words to say.

"What can I say... I enjoyed it more than I though I would... I'm giving up on fighting... I just want it all the time now... so why don't you give it to me" I knew this was the only thing I could say to shock them even more. The more I actually played into it the easier it would be for them to forget. Making them leave this room with there mind in a different place was what I needed.

Bucky immediately pushed me up against the wall as he attacked my lips with his. I smiled to myself knowing that my plan was extremely close to working. The only thing I needed to do was make them forget everything. I pulled away from Bucky and turned my attention towards Snapper.

"Are you gonna join, or are you just gonna stand there and looked scared. I don't just want him... I want you to" I said this as seductively as I could muster. I knew it worked when he began walking towards me. I noticed the look on Bucky's face. He was not to pleased with what I had just done. His look made it seem like I was supposed to be his and no one else's. That was all I needed to see before I knew I had it locked.

Snapper walked right up to me as I pressed my lips firmly on his. I kissed him with everything I could muster. I pictured his face out as Nathan's. I closed my eyes and kissed him like he was Nathan. I couldn't look at him b/c if I did it wasn't going to be the same and I knew it.

Bucky pulled me away from Snapper after sometime. It seems he didn't want to share this new side of me. He forcefully pushed me back against the wall as he began removing his clothes. I closed my eyes and tried to envision something else to make this easier. No such luck. I was going to have to act this one out.

It didn't take long for it to be over. Both of them were putting there clothes on as I picked mine up off the floor. Before I could Bucky grabbed them. "NO!... You need to stay like that... it's much more fun to walk in to this." He took my clothes out of the room with him as Snapper soon followed. When they left they were talking to each other. When they shut the door I waited to see if they would lock the door. To my utter surprise... they didn't. I was completely shocked. My plan had worked. Now all I had to do was wait for them to leave.

I sat down in the corner of the room and thought of my next move. I didn't know what else to do. I hadn't thought this far ahead. Honestly, I never thought it would actually work. All I could think about was finding some clothes to wear and finding some help. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a door shut. I figured it was them leaving so I moved closer to the window to try and hear something that would let me know it was both of them. I heard distant talking, which soon turned into loud chatter b/w Snapper and Bucky. They were laughing and talking about none other than me. Apparently they were pleased with how I acted. I waited to here the car start up before I walked towards the door. I waited a little while long to make sure that neither one of them would be coming back in the door. They didn't.

I opened up the door and looked around. It looked a lot different than what I though it would. There were family pictures everywhere. The place just seemed so homey. Unlike the hell hole I was staying in... it just felt warm. I started looking around for some clothes. I went from room to room looking for some but didn't find any. I made my way into the bathroom and that's where I found some jogging pants and a sweater in the closet. I put them on quickly and went to find some shoes. I found a pair of tennis shoes and threw them on. My next step was to find a way out. It was pretty dark out side so in order for me to not really be noticed I pulled the hoodie over my head and faced the ground as I walked out.

It felt so weird to be outside again. I was almost scared just to walk down the road, but I was more determined than ever to just get away from here. I was looking around at my surroundings just trying to make out where I was. I hadn't ever seen this place before. It was in the suburbs. There was a lot of houses around but I was to scared to actually walk up to one. For all I knew these people were in on it to. I made my way about a mile down the road avoiding everything I possibly could. Cars, animals, people. I thought I was in the clear until a guy hollered at me.

"HEY! Are you okay" Apparently he had heard me crying and the fact that I looked petrified didn't help. I looked at him and sighed "Can you help me?" Those were the hardest 4 words I would ever have to say. I was always to stubborn and hard headed to ask for help, but I knew I needed it. He ran over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I pulled away quickly as I looked at him. "What can I do to help you" He asked me that so sincerely that I couldn't help but feel a little safer than I had been feeling. "Ummm... I... I..." I couldn't find any words to say. I guess he noticed b/c he put his hand on the small of my back and led me towards his house.

"Here... come and sit down and I'll grab you some coffee... do you like coffee?" I nodded my head as he went to get me some coffee. I looked around and admired his house. I wasn't typical colors or furniture. It was way different than that. There was artwork all over the walls. The walls that I could see were this deep red color. I though it was beautiful. It was kinda like my room which made me that much more comfortable.

He came back shortly after and handed me a cup of coffee. He sat down across from me and just looked at me. He didn't say anything. It was like he knew I wasn't ready to talk. I pulled the hoodie off of my head and stared at my coffee. I finally found the words to say as I looked up at him and prepared to talk. "I'm... Peyton Sawyer." He looked at me oddly before getting up rather quickly and walking over to his counter. "Hold on a second... Peyton Sawyer? The Peyton Sawyer that was kidnaped like 2 months ago? That Peyton Sawyer?" I was shocked when I heard this. So they were looking for me. "Yes... that Peyton Sawyer" I was a little uncomfortable at saying this, but when I looked at him that immediately went away. "How did you get away? Where have you been?" I didn't really know what to say. How do you tell someone that you deliberately seduced 2 guys just in order to distract them only to make your getaway from a house a mile down the road?

"I... umm..." I tried to think of the words to say but it only made me tear up and I felt a tear slide down my face. "It's okay... I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt you." Hearing those words made me feel so safe, like nothing was going to happen to me anymore. I finally found the words to say as I looked back up and started to speak. "I kinda had to seduce the 2 guys that kidnaped me in order to try and make them forget to lock the door. To my surprise it worked. They were on this sort of routine where they would..." I struggled to say the next few words as those memories flooded my mind. I shook the images from my head and continued to talk "rape and beat me, and then they would leave. So I waited to make sure they were gone and walked out of the room. I went to find clothes first and then I left. They're actually like a mile up the road." He looked at me in utter disbelief. "I need to call the cops" He quickly got up and went towards his phone. I asked him if I could possibly just use his shower and he agreed and showed me where it was. I had never felt so happy just to take a shower in my life. But then again I had never gone 2 months without taking one before.

I walked out of the bathroom shortly after. He came over to me and told me the cops were on there way. He handed me some of his clothes. "I didn't think you would want to stay in those considering whose they were". "Thank you" I flashed him a small smile as I went back to the bathroom to change. When I came out the cops were already there.

They began asking me a million and one questions that I didn't have answers to. What were there names? Did I know them? Why did they kidnap me? Where did they live? What did they drive?

I was so overwhelmed that I just began to cry. The guy who had been helping me out came and sat next to me and pulled me into a very needed hug. He held me tight as I cried on his shoulder. I pulled away after a couple of minutes and wiped my tears and tried to answer there questions. "They went by Bucky and Snapper. I don't know why they kidnaped me or what they drive, but they live about a mile up the road." Those were the only answers I could give them and they accepted them. I pointed them in the right direction and they asked if it would be okay for me to stay here until they got back. The guy said it was fine and they left.

"I never got your name" I said looking at him. "My name is Lucas Scott" He flashed me a smile and directed me towards his couch. I sat down happily as he turned the tv on and waited for the cops to come back. "Is it ok if I use you're phone?"

"Yea sure" He got up to get his phone as I flipped through the channels on tv. I stopped when I found the local news channel with my picture plastered on it.

"We have just been informed that a local highschool girl, Peyton Sawyer, has been found after being held in captivity for 2 months. We don't have any further information on what has happened to her these past 2 months but we'll keep you posted as soon as we find out any new information". For some reason I had to change the channel. It was good to know that people were looking for me but hearing all that just made it hurt even more.

"Here you go" He handed me the phone and I excused myself and walked down the hallway and dialed a familiar number. A smile played on my face as they answered the phone. "Hello" Their voice was just as chipper as I remember "Hey Brooke"

"Peyton" She was so shocked to here my voice

"Yea... it's me"

"Oh my... Where are you" I could here her begin to cry as I tried to tell her what happened. I filled her in on everything. What I could remember of it actually. She asked me where I was and if I was okay. I told her I was fine but I wasn't really sure where I was, but that I would be back in Tree Hill tomorrow. That's what the cops told me anyways.

I ended the call a few minutes later and returned to the living room where Lucas was. I handed him his phone back and sat on the couch and began talking to him. We didn't get to talk long before the cops showed back up.

"Ms. Sawyer, We're going to need you to come to the station with us" I looked at the 2 officers oddly and asked why. The only reason they could give me was that they needed to take a statement and they needed to get semen samples from me. I really didn't want to go through that but I didn't want these guys to get away with it either. Because they weren't there they weren't going to be able to do anything until tomorrow when the warrant was issued. I turned around to thank Lucas before I walked out the door with the 2 officers.

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**So there is your next chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think and leave a review!**

**LOVE SHELL**


	3. Everythings Okay Or So I Thought

**AUTHORS NOTE: FIrST OF ALL LET ME APOLOGIZE FOR THAT LOVELY MISHAP I HAD IN THE SECOND CHAPTER! It did say Lucas' name when it was supposed to say Nathan's! I have 2 other storys that are centered around Lucas and Peyton so I guess I was still in that writing mode! To those of you who read it before I changed it and were confused by it... Peyton does not know Lucas... she just met Lucas. She is however dating Nathan and that's who she was picturing! I guess thats what I get for trying to finish up a chapter when I'm half asleep! My apologies! I did fix it if you want to go back and check it out so that it makes more sense to you!**

**Anyways ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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I left the station about an hour after I got there. They got my statement and the stuff that they needed from me and then I left. I didn't want to stick around any longer than I had to. I had called Brooke while I was there to see if she could come pick me up... She happily obliged and showed up in no more than 10 minutes.

When she walked in her face was red and puffy. I could tell she had been crying and I knew exactly why. She ran up to me and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and began to let my tears fall.

We stayed like that for a while before we both eventually pulled away. I looked at her tear stained face and couldn't help but smile at the thought that she had actually been looking for me and to know that I was okay overwhelmed her like this. Being locked up like I was gave me more time to think about stupid stuff I didn't need to be thinking of. Like if anyone was actually looking for me and if anyone actually cared. I was stupid to think she wouldn't be looking for me. But what about Nathan... I had to ask.

"Where's Nathan?"

She looked at me and I noticed a sly smile appear on her face as she looked towards the door. I turned my head to look as I saw that famous grin all over his face. I immediately broke down at the sight of him. He looked just as I thought he would. He hadn't changed and that was the best part. I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. I hugged him with everything I had as I let the tears slowly fall down my face. I buried my head into the crook of his necked and whispered "I love you". He gently put me back down and kissed me lightly on my lips and told me he loved me to. At that very moment I knew everything would be okay.

**x-x-x-x-x**

I was sitting over at Brookes house with Nathan just watching tv. I was trying to get back to normal I guess you could say. As soon as I got there I immediately went to her closet and changed into some real clothes... well what Brooke calls real clothes that is. She was a little bit fancier than I was. Her tops were always low cut and extremely tight while mine were nothing but concert t's and tanks. And her pants... well lets just say if I breathed deeply they would rip. They were sooo tight. I would have preferred themto have been a little looser but I really can't complain. This was the first time I had been in actual clothes in 2 months. Who was I to bitch about it.

After about an hour of just laying there cuddled up to Nathan I could feel myself beginning to fall asleep. I sat up just enough so that I was looking at Nathan. I don't really know why I did it, but it was just so good to be able to see him again. I just wanted to stare at him. I guess he could feel me watching him b/c he turned his head to look at me and smiled. "I missed you to". I couldn't help but smile and feel my body go weak. Every time he smiled at me it was like I was a little middle school girl again. I smiled to myself as I remembered the first time I met him.

**FLASHBACK**

_It was my first day of seventh grade and my dad was dropping me off at school. He told me goodbye and he loved me and would see me soon enough. I turned away from him without saying a word. He was leaving today to go out on his boat. Ever since my mom died this summer he had been leaving all the time to go on a boat. He left me here to stay with Brooke each time. He never told me he missed me when he came back and he never stayed back longer than a week. I was growing accustomed to it as I knew he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, if at all._

_I walked towards my first class to meet Brooke. I was lucky to have her. She stuck by my side through everything. As soon as she found out that my mom had died she was right there by my side telling me everything would be okay. _

_As I was walking to meet her this boy caught my attention. He was pretty tall to be a seventh grader so I just thought he was on the wrong hall. I went to walk past him and as I did he grabbed my arm and spun me around. I gave him this crazy look and he flashed me the cutest smile I had ever seen. It was one that would make your heart melt. I wasn't really sure why he had grabbed me and was still holding on to my arm. I looked down at it as to say... "Why are you still holding my arm". He must have caught on because he quickly let go._

"_Do you know where... Mrs. Tomberlin's class is." I looked at him for a second before looking down at my paper. It too said Mrs. Tomberlin. I looked back up at him and smiled. "Yea... follow me." I started walking down the hall to find my class. I knew Brooke would be standing outside of it waiting for me... otherwise I wouldn't have known where I was going either. He ran up to me so that he was walking beside me. He again flashed me that "melt your heart" smile and I couldn't help but return the gesture. "So how long have you lived here" He asked me. I stared down the hallway before answering his question. "I've lived here all my life. How long have you lived here? I don't think I've seen you before." "Oh... I just moved here with my mom. Her and my dad just split so she moved us here. I think she said that she lived here before and it would be a good place for me to grow up. Plus it has one of the best highschool teams around." I looked at him oddly. "Oh... you play basketball?" "Yea... I love it." He must have noticed the look I was giving him because he turned his face towards the ground and kept walking. "I take it you don't like basketball?" "I never said that. I should have figured you would play considering how tall you are." I was hoping this would lighten the mood and it did just that. "Yea... but height has nothing to do with it... It's all... about... the... jump shot" I giggled at the impression he was doing. He had his right hand in the air with the left one just underneath it and I think he was trying to jump without actually doing it but I don't think it turned out to be what he wanted. He just turned to me and laughed at what he had just done as I laughed along with him._

_I heard Brooke yell my name as I turned to look down the hallway... and there she was in all her glory._

"_What took you so long goldilocks? I've been standing here for like... ever" She always was impatient_

"_I had to show..." I had to stop... I realized I didn't know his name._

"_Nathan... Nathan Roe" I flashed him a small smile before turning back to Brooke._

"_Well Nathan... you are mighty cute... what are you doing over there with goldilocks?" She was always the go getter when it came to guys... I on the other hand, was not. I was more into my art and music. I didn't really have time to obsess over boys... Okay so maybe I do, I'd just rather not._

"_Goldilocks?" He laughed at my nickname. I couldn't say I blamed him... It was kinda goofy_

"_Yea... Brooke seems to think everyone needs a nickname."_

"_I like it" He again flashed that smile at me. I didn't know what it was about him that made me so giddy, but he did. "So what's my nick name then, Brooke" She sat there in silence for a second before grinning. "Well. You are very tall, and hot, and have gorgeous blue eyes... sooo... BLUE! That's it" He looked at me oddly and I just shrugged my shoulders. "You better grow to love it, because with her, you're not Nathan." He laughed as I joined in._

_This year wasn't going to be so bad after all._

**END FLASHBACK**

That was what I missed most. His "melt your heart smile". No matter how bad a day I was having he would just smile and it was like everything was okay again. I loved that about him. It was one of those things I couldn't get enough of. Of course Brooke was always there to ruin a moment. "So goldilocks... What's it feel like to be home?" For the first time in my life... I was speechless.

I hadn't actually sat down and realized that I was free. Sure I was with Nathan and Brooke, but... was I really home? I knew that I was happy to be out of that place and free from them, but... Something still didn't seem right now that I actually though about it. Of course I couldn't tell her that.

"It feels wonderful" I flashed her my fake smile knowing she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. She never could. The sad thing was... My own boyfriend couldn't either.

"Glad to here it. So what do you want to do tomorrow"

"Nothing... I just want to go home, and try and get back to reality. School is gonna be tough but hey... I only have the rest of this year and I'm done" I knew as soon as I said that last comment about school she'd drop the subject of me being back. I was right.

"Oh my god you are sooo right. I can't wait to get out of there and move to New York and work for this fabulous magazine called Vogue... Uh... It's gonna be great" Just like I thought she dropped it.

"Well... I think I'm gonna head out" Nathan gave me a sad smile as soon as I said it.

"I don't want you to go"

"I'm sorry Nate... but I just wanna get home... to my bed, and my room, and my stuff. I miss it"

"I understand, but I'm still gonna miss you" He gave me a kiss as I that horrible nightmare flashed before my eyes.

**FLASHBACK**

_His kiss was forceful and his lips were rough. I tried my best to get away but his grip was to tight. He was holding me by my arms and had me pressed up against the cold brick wall. The concrete was like cold needles in my back. Every time I moved he just pushed me harder up against it. When he finally pulled back I tried to scream for help, but he was quick to slap me to shut me up. I closed my eyes and moved my head to the brick wall. I began to feel my eyes burn with tears but I wouldn't let them fall. If I did he would know he had the power._

_He pulled me away from the wall only to move me up against the other side. He yelled for one of his friends to come back there as he turned his hungry gaze towards me._

"_This must be your lucky night" He gave me this evil grin and I again closed my eyes. I knew what was gonna happen but I was still trying my best to fight it. I knew I had no chance when his friend showed up_

"_Well... well... well.. What do we have here? What do you have for me?" His friend let me go and I took this as a chance to get away. I ran past him and pushed past his friend and made my way towards the front of the building. I thought I had gotten away but another guy stopped me._

"_Now where do you think you're going?" He grabbed me by my arm as he twisted it behind my back and began walking towards where I had just left. The tears that were burning my eyes began to fall as I couldn't control it any longer._

"_Hey guys... I think I found this one trying to escape." He threw me towards them as they threw me up against the wall. "Now you didn't think you could get away that easily did you." I begged for them to let me go and told them I wouldn't tell, but they were having no part of that. They were keeping me and that was it. I had no chance._

**END FLASHBACK**

I quickly pulled away from Nathan as I let a tear cascade from my eye. I couldn't understand why this happend now and not earlier. He kissed me when I first saw him and nothing like this happend. I was happy. How could this happen now?

He looked at me oddly and wiped away my tear. "What's wrong baby?" I kept my head down and quickly stood up. "I have to go" I ran out of Brookes room and made to her front door as quickly as I could. Thank god she didn't live that far from my house.

I made my way out her front door and ran as fast as I could towards my house. I heard Nathan yelling after me and that only made me speed up. I made it to my front door and quickly searched for the key. I reached to the top of the door frame as I heard his footsteps get closer. I finally grabbed hold of the key and put it in the lock. I heard it click as I pushed the door open. He ran up the steps onto my porch as I slammed the door shut and locked it.

He banged on the door and screamed my name but I refused to answer. I put my back against the door and slid down it as I began to sob. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head in my knees. Who knew getting back to normal would be so hard?

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**There it is! I checked over it this time to make sure I didn't have any names in the wrong places! LOL! Hope you like it!**

LOVE SHELL


	4. Comfortable

**Chapter 4: Comfortable**

The next couple of days I avoided everyone at all costs! I didn't want to talk to them about what happened. I didn't want to have to see all there pitiful gazes. I didn't want to here the "I'm sorry's" or the "Oh My God... are you okay". Of course I'm not okay. Why would I want to here them ask me that, knowing half of them probably don't even care. There just happy it wasn't them. They could care less that it was me.

I couldn't stay in that house for long and I knew it. I would eventually have to get back to school. Back to the life I hadn't been a part of in a long time. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Especially after the "smooth" transition I had already been put through.

I think about that night every second of every day. How could I have been so happy to see him and kiss him again and then be so upset and distraught when he kissed me again. I don't get it. I couldn't have been more confused about it if I tried. But I had to deal with it sooner or later. After all... I was going to be seeing him everyday at school.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

The alarm buzzed for almost 5 minutes before I finally rolled my lazy ass out of bed to cut it off. "Back to life" I mumbled to myself and walked towards my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and stared at the person looking back at me. What happened to her? 2 months ago I was happy and full of life. I loved school and my friends. And I was madly in love with Nathan. Now I'm so depressed and scared of life. I don't want to go back to school and see all those people I used to call friends. I don't want to see Nathan and relive that night at Brookes. I don't really know what I want. I do know that I want to get back to my normal life. The one where I'm happy and the one where I don't have flashbacks about the hell I went through. That's all I want.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

8 o'clock. That's what the clock read as I finally made my way into the school. I sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes before I finally got the guts up to actually walk through those double doors. I felt so cold when I walked in. It looked exactly like I did the last time I saw it. There was a couple of people in the halls but everyone else was in class. I sighed and took a deep breath before walking into the office.

"Hi Mrs. Cooper" She looked at me and smiled widely. I tried to flash her a small smile but I just couldn't make my face do it.

"Hey Peyton... It's so nice to have you back" She made her way up to the counter and handed me my new schedule.

The new semester had started 2 weeks ago. I hadn't missed to much so that was good. But then again it wasn't. I would rather have massive amounts of school work to consume myself with versus having nothing to take my mind off of everything going on.

I made my way down the isolated hallway towards my first period Lit class. I knew the teacher, I had had her before, and I knew that was only going to make it tougher. But if there was one way to get over this, this was it. Taking everything as it's thrown at me. That includes dealing with the looks, the fake smiles, the fake "I'm so sorry, and I'm glad you're okay", Dealing with teachers, Dealing with old friends, and mostly... dealing with Nathan.

I walked into Mrs. Vick's class and felt all the kids staring holes through me as I walked towards her desk. She had her nose buried in papers. Homework none-the-less. I stood there for a couple of seconds before she finally acknowledged that I was there. She looked at me and smiled. I could tell it wasn't fake. She was the nicest teacher here and I loved her for that. She was always so cool to me and everytime I need help with anything she was there. "Hey Peyton. It's good to have you back." I smiled a little. A real smile. Nothing fake or forced. Just a genuine smile. "I'm glad to be back" Okay, so maybe that wasn't all true. But I was definitely glad to be back in her class. "Well, right now we're working on the 'Scarlet Letter', so here's your book. Read chapters 1-8 for now, and do the worksheet that's with it. You'll just have to read 9-14 when you get home." "Thank's" I flashed another smile before taking my seat next to Tim.

I read all 8 chapters and finished the worksheet in no time. Class was finished soon after and I made my way to my next class. Algebra 2. What a fun class this was going to be. I never was any good at math, but who knows, maybe this time it would be different. I walked into Mr. Parkers class and took my seat. Lucky me I had to sit next to chipper Bevin. I loved that girl to death but she could drive anyone batty. I'm usually a chipper, happy, person, but Bevin, She was something else. She was always talking and laughing. Sometimes she talked a little to much.

He passed out worksheets and made his way back up towards his desk. He didn't explain how to do the work. As a matter of fact he didn't say a word. I looked down at the paper and almost had a heart attack. Why does math have to have letters in it. Isn't that what we have lit for. I shook my head and picked up my pencil. I may not have known what I was doing but if he caught me not doing my work that was it. He was the meanest and strictest teacher here. He didn't care what your excuse for not doing your work was. His point-of-view was... if you're not working, you're wasting his time. And wasting his time wasn't an option. I'd just have to find someone to catch me up later.

My next class was History. Not exactly my favorite class, but hey, it was definitely better than Algebra 2 with Parker. Mrs. Cornelius was my teacher. She was new this year. She greeted me with a smile as I walked into her class. She told me to stand by her desk until she assigned me a seat. I did as I was told and waited for her to come back in. When the bell rang she walked over towards me and smiled. "Now lets see where you will be able to sit." She began looking around the class trying to find an open seat. I followed her gaze as it fell upon the one person I didn't want to have a class with. Nathan. And she of course sits me right in front of him. I was the third row over 4 seats back. I was happy about not being in the front, but the fact that it was right in front of Nathan tweaked me a little. But I had to deal with it. After all, he is still my boyfriend .

Finally class was over and I was on my way to my last class of the day. Hoping and praying that Nathan wouldn't be in there to. No such luck. He was in my Ecology class to. I knew it was going to be an easy class when I watched Mr. Browning walk in. He was the easiest teacher out here that taught Ecology. As long as you could actually listen you would pass. He went over tests right before you took them... and you never had homework. That was definitely a plus. Then there was Nathan. The last 2 classes of the day and I had them with him. I guess this is where I finally have to talk to him.

He walked in right behind me and say down. I looked over at him and he flashed me his trademark smile. I couldn't help but smile back. It was like nothing had ever happened and everything was still perfect. I admire that aspect about him. I could be such a bitch at times and he would brush it off and act as if nothing had happened. I on the other hand could hold a grudge forever. He was teaching me to be more forgiving in life. He was making me a better person and I loved him for it. I couldn't stay away from him and I know it.

Class was done and over with in no time. We didn't do any class work. He let us do whatever we wanted. I drew and listened to my Ipod. I caught Nathan snoring a couple of times so we all know what he was doing. I put my stuff in my bag before walking out of class. Nathan ran up to me right as I reached my locker.

"Hey beautiful... It's good to see you back in school"

"Yea... I guess I couldn't stay away to long" I turned my attention back to my locker and began putting my books up.

"What are you doing right now?"

I turned around and looked at him with a slight grin. "Nothing... as of now."

"Good"

I smiled and laughed a little. "Good... how is that good?"

"Because I want to hang out with my girlfriend today." He wrapped his arms around my waist and I immediately pulled back.

"I don't think that's such a good Nate."

He gave me a sad look and I completely understood. I was still his girlfriend, but I just couldn't stand to be around him. I love him... I really do, it's just every time he touches me, or gets close to me my mind flashes back to those horrible 2 months and I can't seem to shake it. I tried it just didn't work. I guess the only think I can do is give it time and hope I can shake these memories from my head.

"Ok... I understand." He walked away and I sighed to myself.

"Nate" I yelled after him. He turned around as I shut my locker and ran towards him. "I'm sorry"

He stepped closer to me and put his hand on my cheek. I flinched slightly but didn't make him move it.

"Don't be... I can't even imagine what you've been through these past couple of months, and I can't even imagine how it must feel to be free from them but not free from them at the same time."

My eyes began welling with tears with each word he spoke. He loved me so much, but I just couldn't be with him. I could talk to him yea, but I couldn't be with him like I was before. I thought it would be easier getting back to life but I was beginning to be proved wrong.

"Thank you, Nate. For understanding and not getting pissed off about it, or pushing me into something I'm not comfortable with just yet."

I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him as I shook the memories out of my head. I was going to hug him and I wasn't going to let some stupid memory stop me. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist as I let my body sink into his.

"You don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for."

I pulled away and gave him a small smile as he returned the gesture. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the school. For the first time since I've been back I was finally beginning to feel a little more comfortable with him. But how long would it last? I didn't care, and I wasn't going to think about it. All I cared about was how I felt at this very moment.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**There is your next update! And I hope you enjoyed it! And now I would like to give thanks to all the people who reviewed my story.**

**First off Major Thanks to Monica (cabot007) My most faithful reader. Thanks for reading and reviewing to every chapter. Your absolutely amazing. You give great feedback and I love you for it.**

**Thanks to Leytonunit... You have also been great with feedback on a couple of my storys. I am so happy that you like this story. **

**TuggyAngel08... another faithful reader to my storys! I love your feedback... I'm so happy that you keep reviewing to my storys and that you enjoy them. The more feedback the better.**

**Kelly.Louise... A new reader... glad you are enjoying this story... Thanks for reviewing.**

**Silver Shadows92... Another new reader. I'm so glad you like my story b/c I have read a couple of yours and I loved them. Thank you so much for reviewing to my story... I hope you keep reading.**

**LuvtheOC09... Thank you for reviewing to my storys... I have noticed that you have read a couple of my other storys and you seem to enjoy them... Just to let you know... Someone That You're With... will most definetly have Leyton goodness... STAT... lol**

**Mattuf1... I'm soooo glad that you are enjoying my story. Monica tipped me off to you're storys and I absolutely love them. You're an amazing writer and the fact that you like my story is AWESOME! Like I said to silver shadows having another writer enjoy my storys is always great.**

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**To anyone else that I might have missed or for those of you who read but don't review... Thanks for reading and I love all of you guys... I hope you keep reading and reviewing.**

**The more reviews I get the more I want to keep on writing so keep it up... I am most definitely posting another chapter tonight. I will be working on it as soon as this is posted! I hope you enjoyed it!**

LOVE SHELL


	5. So We Meet Again

**A/N: So i had these last two chapters posted backwards... so i deleted them and put them back on here so if the links that you got didn't work i apologize! i aparantly didn't post the 4th chapter when i thought i did and then they got mixed up so i hope you got to the story! SORRY! MY FAULT!**

**x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Chapter 5: So We Meet Again**

School had been going great. I was finally getting back into the swing of things. I was talking to my friends again. I was hanging out with Nathan more. I still couldn't get back to how it was but it was still good to be around him again. It was like everything was finally getting back on track. I had to make the best of it to because this was the last semester. I will graduate this year and who knows where I'll end up and where everyone else will end up.

Cheerleading was starting up again for basketball season. We finished up football season with an undefeated season until we went up against the Wildcats and they kicked our asses, 47-13. Not a bad season but we still wanted to win state. Basketball season was always something I looked forward to. Mainly b/c I got to watch Nathan play. He loved the game and it showed when he played. Plus he was great to look at.

Classes were going pretty good. I was passing all of my classes. I got caught up on my work pretty fast. Mr. Parker was the one I was gonna have to watch out for. If I missed one thing in his class I was sure to fail. Mr. Browning... easy. Mrs. Cornelius was awesome. She was fun and that was the best part. The class was never boring. And Mrs. Vick... she was, and still is, my favorite teacher. I passed the test on the 'Scarlet Letter' and I was happy about that. I wasn't sure what to make of that test.

Jake was finally back at school. He had left town shortly after I left. No one really knew why but I did. He'd been having some problems at home with his mom and he just needed to get away. He usually came to my house when he was having problems but with me gone he had nowhere to go. He had a new girlfriend that no one liked at all. I just figured she was misunderstood. Kinda like me. Her name was Rachel and she had a bit of an attitude. Mainly with the girls. Which I can understand b/c most of them are fake. I get along with her really well. She's fun to hang out with and there's never a dull moment. I think she's the reason I'm starting to get back to normal.

My best friend Haley had a new boyfriend as well. His name was Chris Keller and he was about as arrogant as they come. He had a sarcastic comment for everything, but Haley like him so I put up with it. He was an awesome musician. I give him that. He can belt out a tune like no other. He has this scratchiness to his voice that you can't help but love. Haley's voice is more soft and innocent. Their complete opposites and when they sing together it's beautiful.

Brooke was still Brooke. She hadn't changed at all. She still didn't have a boyfriend. Not sure if she wanted one. I think she has to much fun hooking up with guys to actually settle down and choose just one. I still think she has a thing for Nathan. They dated during Sophomore year for a little while and I don't think she really got over him. He was the first guy she had ever fallen in love with and he broke her heart. I'm not sure if he meant to do it but he did. His excuse was that they drifted apart and she was to much of a partyer for him. Naturally Brooke went back to her old ways, seducing guys and throwing her killer parties.

As for me... I was as close as I could get to being happy and comfortable with Nathan. I still can't kiss him without bringing back those horrible memories. But I can hug him and lay with him without thinking about it. I'm not sure why I can't kiss him, but it's like every time I do I freeze up and then freak out and run off. He's dealing with it pretty well though. He's been so great about this whole thing and I'm not quite sure how to take it. Is he not in love with me anymore and that's why he doesn't care. Or is it that he loves me enough not to push me?

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

I was over at Brooke's house on Friday night after school getting ready for this party she was dragging me to. I'm not quite sure whose party it was, but it was supposed to be one hell of a bash they were throwing. It was two towns away so I'm assuming it was a Forest Park party. They always threw the best ones. They were always full of life and that's what made them so fun. They weren't like these highschool parties that were nothing but drunk guys trying to land the girl and girls who get into fights because this one said she was a bitch.

Brooke walked back in her room after taking a 30 minute shower. She walked over to her closet and immediately began throwing clothes out. "I can never find the right outfit to wear." She screamed frustratedly. She always did this before a party. She could never find the right outfit or the right shoes. Her makeup was never right and her purse never matched. It was a never ending story but it was Brooke.

"Try the lacy black top... The low rise blue jeans, with the awesome design on the back pocket. The black pumps, and the silver bag." And there was me, always helping her with what to wear.

"Awesome choice goldilocks." She came out of the closet a few minutes later in the exact outfit I had just chose for her. She looked at me with a disgusted look. "Where going to have to work on that one." "What's wrong with what I have on" I asked defensively. "I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm wearing." "C'mon goldilocks, you're wearing jeans and t-shirt. You have on those awful shoes and no makeup. C'mon" She dragged me into her closet and threw me a red halter top. The top half of the back was open and it had a tie in the back. It was a very cute shirt that I had just happened to pick out one day on our shopping trip. I put it on as she threw me a pair of black heels. Open toe... just the way I like 'em. She drug me out of the closet as she sat me on her bed and began doing my makeup.

"That's much better" I stood up and walked over to her vanity. I stared at myself in the mirror and smiled. This is the Peyton Sawyer I was used to seeing.

"I take it you like it?"

"Always" I gave her a hug and we walked out of her room.

"So what time is this party anyways" I asked before taking a seat on her couch.

"I think it starts at 8 but you know me..."

"Fashionably late" I said finishing her sentence "I know."

She smiled at me before throwing a throw pillow at me.

"Watch it Davis... You just did my hair and makeup... would you like to do it again" I said smartly. She shook her head before walking into her kitchen.

"So what's up with you and Nathan anyways. Are you getting any more comfortable around him."

"If you're asking me if I've kissed him yet... the answer is no. I still get those memories when he gets remotely close to kissing me"

She walked back into the living room and took a seat beside me.

"Just give it time goldilocks... You'll be back there."

"Ok... can we lay off of the goldilocks tonight... please" I pleaded with her knowing she would agree but then call me goldilocks all night just despite it.

"Ok" She flashed me a smile before standing up. "It's time to go"

We walked out to her car and got in.

"So whose gonna be there tonight anyways" I asked as I looked in the mirror to check my makeup

"Jake and Rachel are coming... I'm pretty sure Haley and Chris are coming. Nathan of course. Bevin and Skills might make an appearance assuming she can drag him away from the 'Notebook'." We both laughed at this. Who could forget the time Bevin made him watch the movie and he actually cried at the end of it. Ever since then he's been obsessed with the movie. "And of course... you and me... the 2 hottest girls there"

"Yea yea." She looked over at me and smiled before looking back at the road.

FOREST PARK... HERE WE COME.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

We pulled up to the party around 9 o'clock. We got out of the car and looked around to see if we saw anyone we knew. I glanced over towards the keg and spotted Jake and Rachel. I ran up to Jake and wrapped my arms around his neck. This was the first time I had seen him since he came back a couple days ago.

"Hey there blondie"

"What's up buddy" I pulled away and smiled and looked towards Rachel

"Hey Rachel" I said before hugging her

"Hey Peyton... Where's Nathan?"

I looked around before looking back at her. "I'm not sure... I came here with Brooke. He's supposed to be here though" I looked back towards Brooke as she shot me an evil glare. "I better get back to Brooke before she's dies of a heart attack from waiting to long"We shared a laugh before I walked away.

"Impatient aren't we" I said walking back up to Brooke

"You know I don't like that girl" She said with a nasty look on her face.

"Why? She's awesome"

"Whatever you say" She grabbed my hand as we made our way through the crowd.

"Look... there's Haley and Chris" She started walking faster as I almost tripped and fell over some guys foot.

"Okay Brooke can we slow it down a notch I don't wanna become tread on some guys shoe"

"Fine" She slowed down a little but it wasn't enough to make a difference

"Hey Haley" She flung her arms around Haleys neck as Haley shot me a glance. I shrugged my shoulders and Haley looked back towards Brooke.

"Nice to see you to Brooke"

"It's so great to see a familiar and _friendly_ face" She shot me a look as I laughed it off.

"Whatever Brooke... Hey Chirs"

"Yep... that's me... the one and only Chris Keller" And there it was his cocky attitude yet sarcastic remark.

"Chris... can we lay off the 'I am god' Spiel today... it's so overrated" I laughed as he nodded his head slightly meaning "fine... I give up"

"Hey Haley" I gave her a hug when Brooke finally released her grasp.

"Hey Peyton... Have you seen Nathan... we've been looking for him since we got here"

"No... haven't seen him... we just got here."

"Eh... he'll be here sometime" Chris chimed in.

We left Haley and Chris as we began to walk around a little more. We went inside and looked around. This house seemed vaguely familiar but I just shook it off. It wasn't until I saw the brick red walls that I remembered where I had seen it before.

**Flashback**

_I looked around and admired his house. I wasn't typical colors or furniture. It was way different than that. There was artwork all over the walls. The walls that I could see were this deep red color. I though it was beautiful. It was kinda like my room which made me that much more comfortable. _

**END FLASHBACK**

It was his house. I stood there in shock for a minute before I finally realized Brooke was staring.

"What's wrong with you?"

I shook my head "Nothing"

"Okay" She left my side and began walking around a little more. I looked around and tried to make sure it was the right house and I wasn't just seeing things. But then I saw the pictures on the walls and knew it was the same house... which meant... their house was a mile up the road. They could be here right now and me not even know it.

I ran to find Brooke to tell here we had to leave... That we couldn't be here. I hadn't made in anymore than a few steps before running into some guy.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

"So how's it feel to be back" Rachel asked Jake as she handed him a cup of beer from the keg.

"It feels pretty damn good actually... Glad to see Peyton's okay to... I was really worried about her."

Rachel shot him a sad glance

"It's not like that... Peyton and I have been best friends since Elementary School... She's like my little sister... When she disappeared I thought I'd lost her. When I left I felt awful, but knowing she's okay right now makes me very happy" He wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Mmm... Now that's more like it" She said as she pulled away.

"Yea?" He said seductively

"Oh Yea." She grabbed his hand and led him to one of the rooms. She knocked first making sure no one was in there before opening the door.

"You seem to be a pro at this." He said sarcastically

"Well I've been to a party or two in my time" She said before pushing him on the bed. "Now where were we"

He moved his lips towards hers. "Right... about... her" He said slowly before bringing his lips to hers. She straddled himas he fell backwards on the bed.

"I agree." She mumbled against his lips before deepening their kiss.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

"C'mon Haley... lets get out of here." Chris moaned as she drug him by his arm towards the keg

"We're staying Chris... Besides it was you're idea to come to this party anyways"

"Well that was before I realized how many guys there were here" He stopped abruptly which made her fall backwards into him. He wrapped his arms slowly around her waist and brought his face up to hers. "I don't want one of them thinking they can touch you... I just might have to hurt them."

"And what are you going to do buddy. Beat them with your shoe" She loved making fun of him. He was so protective but she knew that when it came down to it they'd stomp his ass into the ground.

"Hell yea" He replied with a large grin on his face.

"If you want to go... we can... just let me find Peyton before we go. I don't want her thinking anything happened to me"

"Ok... that sounds like a plan to me" He pulled her in for a kiss before letting her go.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

I apologized quickly to the guy I just ran into without looking at him. I went to walk away and I felt a slight tug on my arm. I looked down at it before looking at the face whom the arm belonged to. I was shocked to see whose face it was.

"Peyton right?" He asked me as I nodded my head.

"Lucas Scott?" I questioned making sure I had the right name

"Yea... What are you doing here?"

"Just leaving actually" I went to walk away again but he stopped me once more.

"You should stay you know. These parties aren't as bad as you might think."

"It's not that... I just need to leave." I looked down at the floor and I could tell he knew something was wrong with me. After all... I never did a good job at hiding my emotions.

"What's wrong... Did someone hurt you?" He asked me and I could tell there was a bit of anger in his voice.

"No... no one hurt me... it's just... I didn't know that this was were the party was. I didn't know I'd be so close to..." I let the last words trail off as I looked back towards the floor.

"They were arrested you know. Right after you left. They're not gonna be here if that's what you're worried about."

"It's not that... it's just... being so close to that place... It's just not that easy"

"I understand... but you really should stay."

I looked back up at his pleading eyes. He really wanted me to stay and I couldn't figure out why.

"Fine... I'll stay" I gave in... how could I not. His eyes were so pleading and I couldn't resist.

"Good. Can I get you a drink" I looked over towards the door and saw Nathan walk in.

"No... thanks anyways." I walked away and made my way towards Nathan. I could feel Lucas' heavy gaze on me the entire time, but knew if I turned around I wouldn't talk to Nathan and that wasn't the best thing to do right now.

"Hey Nate"

He gave me a solemn look and a fake smile. "Hey Peyton."

I looked at him oddly and I could tell something was wrong

"What's wrong Nathan?"

"Can... we talk for a second?"

"Yea... sure" We made our way down the hallway looking for a quiet room. We opened the first door we came to and walked in only to be blessed with the sight of a half naked Jake laying ontop of a very naked Rachel.

I covered my eyes quickly as Nathan did the same. "I... AM SOOO SORRY" I walked out the door as fast as I could and shut it behind me.

"That was a treat" Nathan said sarcastically.

We knocked on every door after that and finally found one that wasn't occupied.

"So what's up Nate"

He sighed deeply before looking at me.

"I don't think this is gonna work Pey... I mean... you won't let me near you anymore. I've tried my best to let you become comfortable with me but I don't think you can. I think you need to deal with this on your own. I can't help you do it and I know that. So I'm suggesting that we break up."

I looked at him furiously

"Are you serious?"

"Sadly... yes I am. I mean Peyton... you don't even look at me the same. It's like all we are is friends and that's fine... but I'd rather not be under the title of boyfriend and girlfriend while it's going on."

I completely understood where he was coming from, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

"I understand Nate... I do... but... don't stop talking to me over this... I still want to be friends."

"Then that's what we'll be"

The conversation was short and sweet and right to the point, just like they always were.I stood up as he followed close behind. I gave him a hug and walked out.

"So how about that drink?"

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**So there is your second chapter of the night! I finally got Lucas in there... He'll start coming into the chapters more and more as time goes on... I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!**

**LOVE SHELL**


	6. Memory of What Was Turned into What Is

**CHAPTER 6: The Memory of What Was Turned into What Is**

Lucas and I had been talking almost all night. It's like we had known each other for years. He was such an intelligent guy. He was into art and music and literature and basketball. I always thought college guys were all about getting laid and getting drunk... but Lucas seemed to be different. Either that or he was just really good at hiding who he was and what he really wanted.

I found out that he was majoring in Literature, he was here on scholarship, he was a freshman, and he had the coolest dog named Butch. He was a blue pit and lazy as ever. He hardly moved, but that was fine with me considering he was sitting on MY lap. He moved here from a small town in Texas. He said he wanted a change... but moving to North Carolina was no change. He was still in a small town and around the same types of people.

If I wanted to get away I would go to New York. Now that's what I call a change. Why move to another small town when you can move to a big city with so many different types of people and new sites to see. Exciting... that's what a new town and new life should be. Not dull and boring with the only excitement being college parties.

He laughed when I told him this. He told me that the only excitement he needed was an A on his midterms. He really was odd. Not many people would find that as excitement... happy maybe... but pure excitement? I don't think so. But that's the thing about meeting new people is that you learn more than you think you would.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

It was getting really late and I knew I had to go, but part of me didn't want to leave. I was enjoying myself and having fun meeting all these new people. Outside of my highschool friends I didn't know anyone. This was a way for me to meet new people. A way for me to escape from everything.

I climbed into my car after waiting on Brooke for 10 minutes and finally realized she wasn't coming. I made sure she had a ride before driving away. I had been on the road for a little while before realizing that I needed gas. I was gonna try and make it home and fill up tomorrow but it looks like that wasn't going to happen.

I pulled up to Flash Foods and made my way into the store. I bought a soda, a pack of gum, and paid for my gas before walking out. I filled my tank and climbed back into the car. I looked in the rear view mirror to make sure no one was behind me and that's when I saw him.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Now where do you think you're going?" He grabbed me by my arm as he twisted it behind my back and began walking towards where I had just left. The tears that were burning my eyes began to fall as I couldn't control it any longer._

"_Hey guys... I think I found this one trying to escape."_

**END FLASHBACK**

It was one of them. One of the guys that kidnaped me that night. He was here... sitting in my car. But how, he didn't know I was here... or was he one of the college boys and he was just waiting for me to leave so he could take me back.

I tried to jump out of my car and run but he was quick to stop me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me deeper into my seat. His face moved closer to mine and I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck. "If you try to scream... I'll kill you. If you try to run... I'll kill you. If you don't listen to me... I'll kill you" His voice was quiet yet stern. I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed the gun he was slowly waving in the air. I nodded my head in agreement and slowly pulled out of the parking lot.

I kept my eyes on the road and made sure not to make any sudden movements. I wanted so bad to grab my cell and call 911 but if my hand even made it's way remotely close to my pocket something bad was gonna happen and I didn't want to find out what that was.

He made me pull into this run down parking lot with one crappy looking building. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew what was gonna happen but I didn't even want to think about it. All that did was scare me more and the more I show fear the worse it is.

**FLASH BACK**

"_Please... Please... just let me go." I cried harder with each word I spoke. I had been locked in this room for the past 2 days and it was scaring the hell out of me. I didn't know how long I was gonna be here or what they were going to do to me. They showed up a couple times a day and tortured me like I could never imagined being tortured. The beating the verbal abuse... the rape... it's all the same to me. It's all a blurred dream that I just want to wake up from. _

_I scream and cry and beg to leave and all they do is get rougher. I fight back and they just make it worse. All I can do is try my best to defend myself and they do there best to make it worse. I can't just lay here and take it, but what else can I do. The more I fight the more they fight back. _

_My lugs are burning and I can hardly breath. I have screamed more in the past 10 minutes than I have in my entire life. I am so scared and I feel so cold. I haven't eaten and I haven't showered. Each day that goes by the more and more distant my life seems. _

_I want so bad to go back to my life and the way things were but that's not going to happen. I've been alone in this room for over an hour and for some odd reason I can sense them coming back._

_They walked in the door shortly after. They both walked up to me with fire in their eyes as they shoved me against the wall. I cried out once more for help but it seems that no one can hear my cries. They spin me around and throw me against the wall once more. He slaps me hard across my face. I do my best not to cry but I failed. Tears were falling down my cheeks and he was getting more and more excited. I tried to make myself stop crying but I couldn't. Just knowing that they were going to do this once more was more than I could handle. _

**END FLASHBACK**

I swore to myself after that night I wouldn't fight back. No matter how much I wanted to fight I just knew I couldn't. I knew that at the first sign of fear he would take advantage just as he did that night. He may not have been there every time, but he was there.

I climbed out of the car slowly watching every move he made. I was hoping he would get out before me and I would have a chance to speed away but I had no such luck. He drug me by my arm into this run down building.

This was it.. This was my chance to use my phone and him not know. I didn't know if it had service or if it would even work, but I had to try. I opened it up and hit the send button twice from inside my pocket. It may not have been 911 but it was the closest thing to it. Whomever I had called last will be able to hear what is going on.

I started talking about my surroundings making sure I noted everything to describe it. How to get here, what it looked like, why I was here... everything. I did my best to make it seem like I was just rambling on so he wouldn't hurt me and it worked. He never once asked me for my phone or told me to shut up... well he told me to shut up, but he didn't figure out why I was talking.

He pulled me into one of the rooms on the top floor. I was hoping and praying that my phone was still on and it didn't lose service. He closed the ratty door behind him and made his way closer to me. I backed up until I couldn't go any further. I pushed myself harder against the wall thinking if I did it long enough I would just fall through the wall into another room. Again... no such luck.

He forced himself on me and I tried my best not to fight it but I just couldn't help it. I pushed him away and ran for the door. I made my way through the run down house until I reached the bottom of the stairs. He quickly caught up to me and pushed me to the floor. I cried and screamed as loud as I possibly could for help even though I knew no one was around.

I managed to wiggle my way out from underneath him... I then did the only thing I could do... I punched him in his face. I knew he was in shock when he didn't move. He held the side of his face as I made my run for it.

I ran fast and didn't look back. I could hear his footsteps behind me and that only made me move faster. I apparently was no track star seeming as to how he caught me in under a minute of me running. I fell to the ground as he jumped on top of me.

This was it... it was happening all over again. The memories of what was has suddenly turned back into what is. How can this be happening to me again? Did I do something that awful that I would deserve this? I just don't understand how someone can do this to a person... how someone could be so heartless.

I cried to myself as I took in what was about to happen. He leaned closer to my face and whispered "You shouldn't have ran bitch... this is what happens when you try and fight back". I closed my eyes tightly as he began to unbutton my jeans. I pushed his hands away trying to make him stop. He took both my hands and placed them above my head. He held on to them with one hand and finished undoing my jeans. He pulled them down quickly and sat up undoing his own jeans. I couldn't bare to think of what he was doing anymore. I laid there still crying to myself and thought of something to keep my mind off of this.

**FLASHBACK**

_It was a warm summers day with a slight breeze blowing through the air. I looked around the park as I watched the community play games with their kids, and play with their dogs. I laid back on my blanket and stared up at the beautiful blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. It was a gorgeous day to be outside and the sight of him sitting next to me made it that much better._

"_Hey baby" Nathan whispered as he kissed me on my cheek. "What brings you here?"_

_I looked into his deep brown eyes and smiled "I wanted to get out today. It's to beautiful to be sitting inside doing nothing."_

"_Well you're to beautiful to be sitting inside anyways" He flashed me that 'melt you're heart' smile and I couldn't help but giggle. "What?"_

"_You're sure do know how to make a girl feel wonderful did you know that?"_

"_Well I am the Nathan Roe... Of course I can do these things"_

_I kissed him lightly on the lips as we both laid down on my blanket. We didn't say a word to each other the rest of the afternoon. We just laid there thinking of our lives and how wonderful they were. It was perfect._

**END FLASHBACK**

I would give anything to be there in the park right now. The memory was the only thing keeping me sane right now, and I was thankful for that. It didn't take away the pain of what was happening but it made me not think about what was happening for just a moment, it let me escape and that's all I wanted.

He was still there though. He wasn't done and probably wouldn't be for a while. He seemed to get pleasure out of hurting people. That's the way it seemed to me.

At this point I didn't care what happened to me or what he did to me, but I needed to get him off of me. I needed to fight.

I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. He slapped me a couple of times but I still screamed. I wasn't going to let him or anyone else bully me anymore. I was gonna fight the way I needed to. I couldn't just lay here and take this. I shouldn't have to and no one else should either. I pulled my hands away from him long enough to grab my phone out of my pocket. He was to busy with what he was doing to notice. When I finally freed my phone from my pocket I looked at the screen. It was still on.

"HELP ME... SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME... I'M ON OLD COFFEE ROAD AT THIS OLD RUN DOWN HOUSE... SOMEBODY PLEA–" He grabbed the phone before I could finish talking.

"You stupid bitch" He didn't just slap me this time... he punched me right in my face. I rolled my face towards the ground and held the spot he had just hit me in tightly. I cried even harder as he continued to rape me. I begged and pleaded for him to stop but he only laughed. I punched him and slapped him and kicked my legs as best I could trying to get him off of me. I gave up after a couple minutes of trying and again laid there crying. Before I knew it I heard the rustling of leaves in the distance. I screamed for help praying that it was someone to help me... that someone was on the other end of the phone when I was screaming for help.


	7. Because of Me

**Chapter 7: Because of Me**

A swift kick to the face was all it took to make him fall off of me. I quickly pulled my jeans up and tried my best to stand up. My legs were shaking and my body ached but I didn't care. I didn't look to see who had just helped me I just ran. Ran as far and fast as I possibly could.

The woods were so dark and crowded. I made my way through brush and trees hoping to find a road somewhere. I slowed my run into a fast pace walk hoping to catch my breath. The rustle of leaves in the background quickly made me change my mind. I ran once more through the crowded woods trying my best to find an exit. I was stopped by the sight of headlights... It was a road. I hauled ass towards the oncoming lights. I found the road just as the car past. I tried to flag it down but they didn't see me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and immediately screamed.

They spun me around and pulled me into a deep embrace. I pulled back quickly and tried to run away. They again stopped me but this time by there voice. "Peyton... It's okay... I'm here now... no one is going to hurt you." I turned quickly to face him and ran into his open arms and cried. Someone actually heard my call and came to help me. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and just let me cry. He didn't ask me what happened or how I wound up here... he just let me cry.

I pulled away from him a few minutes later and looked up at his concerned face. "Thank you" I whispered as I wiped away my tears. "Don't thank me... You did all the work trying to get me here. You made the call and told me where you were. All I did was get him away from you" I began crying again as he pulled me back into a hug. He held me so tight and so close and I began to feel safe again. Like nothing could touch me.

"Lets get you out of here" He whispered into my hair before we turned around and walked towards his truck.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

While sitting in his truck I racked my brain trying to figure out how I had gotten his number. I don't remember calling him. I sat there in silence and went through the events of the night. And then I remembered.

**FLASHBACK**

"_So are you gonna call me or are you just taking my number because you feel bad for me?" He asked sincerely_

"_I'm gonna call... see watch" I dialed his number and listened to his phone ring. He opened up the face to show 'Peyton Sawyer' flashing across his screen._

"_This doesn't count you know... you actually have to call me after this"_

_I flashed him a smile before turning around and leaving._

**END FLASHBACK**

I had called his phone before I left to prove to him that I would call. He probably thinks I'm a baby now, but I don't care. All I cared about was that I was safe at the moment.

It had been silent for a long time. Neither of us saying anything. Him just staring at the road, and me just looking at anything but him. He broke the silence just moments later. "Can I ask you something?" I nodded my head slightly before he spoke again. "How did you get away long enough to call?" I looked at him solemnly before answering "I didn't. When he was dragging me up to the house I opened my phone in my pocket and hit the send button twice. I didn't know it was going to call you... I didn't know who the last person I called was, and I just wanted to get away from him. I'm sorry"

He looked at me oddly and then smiled. "You really don't need to be sorry about calling me. I'm just happy that I was able to get to you in time and get him away from you. I'm glad you're safe" This brought a smile to my face just like every other conversation we have.

Ever had a feeling so deep in your gut in makes your stomach do back flips? That's how I was feeling right now. I hardly knew him but it seems like every time I'm around him I get all jittery and stumble over my words.

He's so cute and has such a genuineness to him that I have never seen in anyone. He helped me even though he didn't have to. He got me away from this horrible person and made me feel safe. Not even my boyfriend has been able to do that.

Nathan was a good guy, he really was, but he never gave me butterflies or made me unable to speak at the meir sight of him.

I was pulled out of my thoughts moments later as we pulled up to his house. I took one look around and freaked as old memories came flooding back to me. I shut my eyes tightly trying to push the thoughts back but it didn't work... it just got worse. I could feel myself starting to cry but I didn't care. I had to get out of here.

I looked at him with my now tear filled eyes. "Can we please leave" I said it barely above a whisper but he heard me. He nodded his head and climbed back into his truck. He sped off as I shut my eyes trying not to look down the road I had been trapped on not so long ago. He placed comforting hand on my shoulder. I flinched slightly at his touch but soon shook it off. He stared at me with worried eyes searching for answers in my eyes. I turned my head and looked out the window avoiding his gaze.

He was facing the road now. The only words spoken being where he was going and how to get there. It felt awkward but I couldn't bring myself to talk. Not about tonights events or any event prior. It was all to hard. No matter what memory I thought about I was always brought back to those 2 months. I wanted so badly to just forget about it, but it was all to hard.

Somehow just sitting here with Lucas made it easier for me to relax. I may not have been completely relaxed but at the moment I was as close as I could get.

I felt my eyes grow heavy as I stared at the long road ahead. I didn't want to go home but I didn't want to stay at his house either so I suggested that we just drive. He agreed and here we are. Exit 39... 100 miles away from home. It felt so good to get away, even if it wasn't permanent.

We pulled into Flash Foods on exit 12 to get gas. He jumped out of the truck to go pay. I stared out the window and noticed a couple of guys staring. I immediately freaked out. Lucas came back to the truck quickly to ask what was wrong. I looked out the window signaling to the 2 staring guys. He smiled and walked over to my side of the truck. He opened my door and grabbed my hand and led me out of the truck.

He squeezed my hand assuring me I'd be fine. He kept his hand in mine as he wrapped the same arm around my back pulling me closer to his body. I smiled at the comfort I was feeling. This was a good change from how I have been feeling.

He walked to the counter and released my hand grabbing his wallet. I looked over towards the door and noticed them walking in. I froze and moved closer to Lucas. He immediately wrapped his arm back around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head in his chest. He felt him turn his body slightly looking around to see why I was freaking out.

I'm assuming he saw the 2 guys since he wrapped his other arm tightly around my body. I felt so safe in his arms... like nothing could touch me. But how? I hardly know him. I didn't really care... all I cared about at that moment was that I was safe. I looked up at him as he finished paying for the gas and some food. I whispered to him that I had to use the bathroom. He looked around searching for one and nodded towards the back of the store.

He walked with me to the bathroom and stood out the door while I went. I washed my hands and looked at my reflection in the mirror. What had I become? Some piece of meat in the eyes of a horny guy? I sighed lightly before opening the door to be greeted by Lucas' arms wrapping around my body.

I let myself sink into him burying my head into his chest once more. "You're gonna be fine... I'm not gonna let anything else happen to you" He whispered into my hair. I smiled at the thought of being protected. He pulled away just moments later and grabbed my hand and began walking towards the door.

We made it halfway to his truck before he was jumped by both the guys that were following me. I watched in horror as one of them hit him square in his face while the other one kicked him in the back of the legs causing him to fall to the ground. I felt so helpless. What do you do when the person trying to protect you is getting beat up because of you? You help!

I remembered the baseball bat he threw in the back of his truck before we got in. It wasn't that far away so I ran towards it, not looking back only looking forward. I reached the truck within seconds. I grabbed the bat out and turned around to face one of those guys. He grabs the bat in my hands and tries to take it away.

I hold on with everything I have. I kicked him the only place I knew would bring him to his knees. I kicked him square between the legs as he came crashing to the ground at my feet. I raised my foot to his face before running after Lucas. By now he was beating the other guys face in with his fist. "STOP!" I screamed while running towards the two. I waved the bat in the air so he could clearly see it.

He backed away from Lucas slowly and wiped the blood from his nose. "You're not worth my time anyways BITCH!" He grunted towards me before walking off. Tears began flooding my eyes as I stared at Lucas. To be honest I thought it would be worse than it actually was but the fact that he was hurt because of me made me feel absolutely horrible.

He walked towards me quickly and engulfed me in a hug. I cried "I'm sorry" into his shirt. He pulled away and lifted my face so he could look me in the eyes. "Don't be... I told you I wasn't going to let anything happen to you and I meant it" He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and led me to his truck.

The whole ride back all I could do was think. Think about what I kept putting people through. People I loved, people that just wanted to help me, all of them. I couldn't keep doing this to them. None of them deserved what was happening to them because of me. I broke Nathan's heart because of what happened. I lost half of my friends because they were to scared to be around me, and now I let the one guy trying to help me get beat up because of this. It wasn't fair... to anyone. This was my problem and I had to do something about it before everyone I cared about and everyone who cared about me get hurt.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**So there is your next chapter! I hope you liked it! The next few chapters won't be as "abusive" so to speak as these past few were. I had to get these chapters in here in order to get to the real point of the story! **

**LOVE SHELL**


	8. Something To Call Normal

**Chapter 8: Something to call Normal**

The past couple of weeks went by so fast. I had done everything I could to get my life back on track, to not let the people around me become part of this tornado of drama surrounding me. I wasn't going to let them become involved in my hell. It was my problem and I was going to deal with it.

All of the guys that abused me were finally behind bars. Bucky got 25 years along with Snapper. The other guy who was finally revealed as Steve was there for 10. I think Bucky and Snapper got the most only because they were the ones who kidnapped me. I'm not really sure though. I didn't care to hear the details... all I cared about was them all being behind bars.

My life was finally going in the right direction. I had all of my friends back and most of my life back as well. Jake and Rachel were officially dating which shocked the hell out of me. Haley as well. Rachel had a personal talk with all three of us... basically trying to show us that she wasn't the bitch we all thought she was. She talked to Haley first and I still remember what Haley told me like it was yesterday.

**FLASHBACK**

_Rachel walked up to Haley slowly as if she was scared Haley would hit her or something. She tapped Haley lightly on the shoulder. Haley spun around on her heel as her smile slowly faded. She stared at Rachel with an "eat shit and die" look before turning back to her friends. Rachel again tapped her on the shoulder but before Haley could say something Rachel said "I need to talk to you." Haley furrowed her brows slightly before turning back to her friends once more. "I'll be back guys". She turned back to Rachel and motioned towards the empty table in front of them._

"_So what is this about Rachel... I don't have time for your bitchy games" Haley was far past annoyed with the way Rachel was acting... especially since it involved Jake who just happened to be her first love. _

"_I wanted to talk to you personally about everything going on with Jake." Her voice was low and muffled but Haley heard her. When it came to Jake she heard everything._

"_So start talking" Haley couldn't help but be a little rude to Rachel... after all Rachel was the bitch in this situation._

"_Look... I know you don't like me and I understand that... I come of as quite the bitch and I know it, I just can't help it. It's sort of a defense mechanism with me. When I feel threatened I automatically get like that." Haley's face started to soften as she listened intently to everything Rachel was saying. "I really like Jake and I know that you and him have quite a bit of history... that scares me more than I will ever admit. That's why every time I'm around you and your friends I'm all bitchy. I don't want to lose him, but I'm worried that if I tell him this he'll just forget about me and move on." _

_Haley cocked her head to the side when Rachel finally stopped talking. She was in complete and utter shock at what she had just heard. This was the first time she had actually heard Rachel speak of her feelings and why she was the way she was. Its not everyday that you hear Rachel talk like she actually has feelings. In a way she reminded her of Peyton... always blocking out the way she feels and not letting anyone know how she feels. She couldn't help but feel bad for her and the way she had been treating her._

"_You need to listen to me on this one Rachel. Jake isn't the type of guy you think he is. He's not gonna just forget about you because you actually tell him how you feel... he wants to know how you feel, he wants to know what you're thinking. He's actually a pretty stand up guy... after all he made me fall in love with him. He's one of my best friends know and I want to see him happy... and as much as I don't want to admit it... You make him happy... Happier than I have seen him in a long time. He just wants to know how you feel about him. So tell him"_

_A smile began tugging on Rachel's lips as she re-played what Haley had just told her in her head. For the first time she felt like someone actually cared about how she felt. It was a good feeling to have. Now if only everyone else could be the same way Haley was. She needed to talk to Peyton and Brooke, but that was gonna have to wait... Jake was first._

**END FLASHBACK**

This was exactly what I needed... some stability in my life. Stability with friends, with family, with school... everything. Haley was right... Rachel and I are more alike than either of us thought. There are so many similarities that each of us share that its not even funny.

We are both pretty much closed off, meaning we don't talk about how we feel. We don't let anyone know that side of us. Theres only a select few that know exactly how we feel. We both have mad trust issues. It takes each of us a while to be able to trust someone... and even then we still don't fully trust them. I guess that's what happens when you have been burned on more than one occasion by people you thought were your friends. And then theres the whole relationship thing... we just have a hard time being with someone. My problem is I can't stand to be around someone for long periods of time, all the time. Her problem is she doesn't want to let them know how she really feels because she's scared of rejection.

She came to talk to me right after she talked to Jake. Her conversation was one for both of them to remember. She revealed everything to him, pouring her heart and soul out and laying it all on the table.

**FLASHBACK**

_She walked slowly towards his house knowing exactly what she needed to do, but still not able to find the words to say. How do you describe how you feel about someone through just words. It's not as easy as all these people make it out to be. Rachel couldn't have been more scared or anxious at any point in time walking. _

_She reached his front steps hardly moving. She was at an extremely slow pace that was only getting slower with each step she took. She was so scared... scared of rejection... scared that he may share the same feelings, all of it. She wasn't the type to put herself out there and everyone knew it. Her putting herself in this position was one to be praised upon. She may have had some coxing from Haley, but she was the one who ultimately made the decision to talk to him._

_This was it. She had finally reached his front door. Breathing heavily she finally knocks on his door. Chills shoot up and down her spine when he answers the door. She couldn't help but smile at how he cute he looked. Hair all ruffled like he had just woken up and a pair of jogging pants hanging loosely from his hips with no shirt what so ever. She flashed him a small smile before walking into his house. He closed the door behind her and followed her to his room._

_She sat down on his bed looking around his room trying to distract her mind from what she was about to do. The more she thought about it the harder it was to bring herself to do it. But this was it she had to do it. She saw the way he was looking at her with curiosity and knew it was time._

"_Can we talk?" She asked unsure of what his answer would be._

"_Yea... is everything okay" He took a seat beside her on the bed and stared at her trying to find the answers in her eyes... they were like stone._

_Rachel stood up not wanting to be that close to him when she did this. She took a seat in his computer chair across the room not looking up once. She was about to begin talking but he beat her to it._

"_Baby... whatever it is you can talk to me... you know that right." His voice was so soft and gently which only made this harder for her to do. She wanted to tell him everything, but the more she tried the harder it was. Jake stood up and began walking towards her. "No... please... just sit on the bed." Jake stared at her with confusion but did as he was asked and sat back down on the bed. _

_They sat in silence for a few minutes with not a word said... just silence. She looked up at him and met his curious yet nervous gaze and knew she had to start talking. She took a deep breath and shook the fear and nervousness out and began talking hoping everything came out right._

"_I really like you Jake... a lot" Jakes head shot up at the sound of her voice, even more so with what she had just said. He didn't have a chance to respond before she started talking again._

"_I like you so much that it scares me. The sexual side that you always see is me being naïve about how I really feel. I guess it's because as long as you don't know how I really feel you'll still be interested, but I can't do this anymore." Jake furrowed his brows and prepared for the worst. He had been through this before. Girl doesn't want to be with you like that... it's just sex. "I don't like you like that... we should just be friends" Lord knows how many times he had heard this. He just put himself in the same state of mind as he did then... "I don't give a shit mode" was dialed in._

"_I can't be just sexual with you" This caught his attention. "I want to be so much more and god only knows how scared I am. I am more terrified of my feelings for you then anything else. I always want to be around you, I always want to hear your voice, but most of all... I just want to lay in your arms. I don't want everything between us to be all about sex even though thats how I made it. I made things this way and I can deal with it if you don't want it to be more... but I don't." She stopped talking hoping he would say something, but he didn't. He just sat there. Blank stares and shallow breaths. That was it. Not an emotion in sight._

_Rachel stood up thinking it was done right then. She finally opened up and he shot her down. Tears began to slowly fill her eyes as she found it extremely hard to breath. She was becoming more and more claustrophobic with each passing second. She had to get out. She ran past him making her way to the front door. She tried to open it but Jake was quick to shut it back. She laid her head on the door not wanting to turn around and see his expression. She didn't want to see the looks of pity being thrown her way because he didn't share her feelings._

_All of her thoughts were brought to a halt as she felt her body being spun around, her lips meeting his in a passionate kiss. They pulled away moments later both of their eyes still closed wanting to remember everything. Jake opened his eyes first bringing his hand to her face gently stroking her cheek. A tear fell from her eye as she slowly opened her eyes._

"_I'm glad you told me how you felt. I don't want this to be about sex either" He motioned between the two of them. "I want this to be so much more." Rachel smiled and gave him a gently peck on the lips. "I always wanted this to be more, but I didn't think you did. I went along with the 'Sexcapades' only because I would still be with you. I was worried that if I didn't go along with it I wouldn't have you at all and I didn't want that."_

_The both smiled and made their way back to Jakes room. They didn't have sex, or make out for hours. No... they just laid in each others arms not saying a word... just savoring the moment not wanting it to end._

**END FLASHBACK**

I couldn't have been happier for Jake. He like Rachel so much and was probably more worried about his feelings for her more than she was worried about her feelings for him. He is such an open hearted person that always gets his heart broken because he always has his heart and feelings out in the open. I am so happy that he finally got the girl and kept his heart.

I truly think he fell in love with her, but he's not gonna say it just yet. He has to wait for the right moment... just like he did with Haley.

I went to school the next day expecting Rachel to come and talk to me just like she did Haley. I wanted to hear what she had to say. I wasn't gonna be all pissy about her and Jake or anything like that. I just want her to tell me why she was the way she was even though Haley already told me. I just wanted to hear it from the lions mouth.

I got it that afternoon at lunch. Brooke and I were sitting at out usual table just talking it up when she walked over.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Hey Guys" She still couldn't wipe the smile off of her face even though she knew what was about to happen._

"_Rachel" Brooke said in her usually bitchy tone towards her._

"_Hey Rachel" I put a smile on my face hoping she would sit down and talk with us._

_She took a seat directly in front of me her smile fading as Brooke glared at her._

"_What are you doing Peyton... She doesn't need to sit here... just in case you forgot she is the reason Jake is so tormented"_

"_Brooke... just drop it for once would ya... she's not hurting anyone by sitting here... and for all you know she might actually have something to say" I tried my best to not sound bitchy but I just couldn't help it. I knew what Rachel had to talk to us about but Brooke didn't, so it was that much harder for me to get my point across without being a bitch._

"_I actually came to talk to you guys about the way I've been acting and about everything with Jake. It's just like I told Haley... I'm not the most open person in the world. I would rather bottle my emotions up and never speak of them, but it seems thats not the smartest thing to do. I really do like Jake and I just want you two to know that I would never intentionally hurt him. I was just scared to be myself around you guys and my way of dealing with it was to be a bitch and make it seem like I didn't care when I really did. I would really like it if we could possibly be friends and if not at least be civil with each other."_

_Rachel finished talking and looked between Brooke and I expecting some sort of answer or reply. Nothing. Brooke was in to much shock to talk and I was in a whole other world. I looked over at Brooke and saw her famous look... the "I don't care what you have to say" look. I knew she was about to say something smart and stupid to Rachel so I cut in before she could. _

"_I'm glad you talked to us Rachel. It's good to know that Jake has someone now. He likes you a lot so if you hurt him in anyone its your ass." I wasn't trying to be mean but she needed to know what would happen if she hurt him in any way._

_She looked over at Brooke for some sort of reaction but all she got was a semi real smile and a nod of the head. If Brooke would have said what she really wanted to she would have shocked herself and everyone else and she didn't need to do that._

"_So we're all good now?" Rachel asked cautiously_

"_Yea" I held out my hand and called a truce as did Brooke. Rachel walked off leaving one very baffled Brooke and one extremely emotionally drained me._

**END FLASHBACK**

So everything seemed to be back on track now. I had my friends back... most of my life, but theres still something missing and I can't quite place my finger on what it is.

I had gained a couple of new friends through this whole ordeal. I gained Lucas and a couple of his buddies that would do anything to protect me. I've been around them when I get my flashbacks and they comfort me without making me uncomfortable and scared which is a first. When Nathan would try and comfort me all I would do was run as far away as I could and block out everything.

My memories of the hell I went through aren't flashing before my eyes every time I turn around any more. There still there, but I've learned how to control them. As long as I'm not kissing any guys I'm alright. Every time I get around a guy and hugged them or anything its like it triggered those nightmares that are my flashbacks.

Every day that goes by seems to get better and better. I'm not as happy as I was before everything happened but I'm finding my way back there... slowly but surely I'll be back there. With the help of every one around me it's only making it easier.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X**

**I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter! I have been so busy with work! Plus I've been hanging out with one of my buddies as much as possible because he's leaving town. Well he left on Tuesday so I finally had time to work on my stories! I hope you all like this chapter! It turned out better than I thought it would! Sry no Lucas in this chapter... he will start playing a bigger role in most of the chapters to come!**

**LOVE SHELL!**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

**That button is so calling your name! GIVE IN! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!**


	9. Feeling

_**Ok guys... I am so sorry for the delay on this chapter. But here it is now and I hope you all like it. The next chapter should be all about Peyton and Lucas... not sure yet. So here it is... Chapter 9!**_

**Chapter 9: Feeling**

_**DEAR JOURNAL**: _

_School has finally ended. Lucky me. I finally get back to a semi-normal life and one major part of it just ends. I graduated with honors which was something I was very proud of. Too bad my dad wasn't here to see my walk. He couldn't make it due to "travel problems". That's what his excuse is every time. Just once I'd like to see him make it to something that is important to me without some lame excuse._

_Lucas was there though. We have grown pretty close over these past couple of months. He's been with me through everything. I had my friends as well but they just couldn't grasp what I was going through. Somehow Lucas understood me. He understands the problems I'm having to face because he was the first one who saw me when I was finally free. He may not have known me then just as I didn't know him, but somehow we get each other._

_We're all planning a huge summer trip to Hawaii. Haley and Chris, Rachel and Jake, Brooke and "The flavor of the week", Lucas and I... all of us. Not sure how excited everyone else is about going, but I couldn't be happier. Getting out of Tree Hill is exactly what I need. A fresh start I guess you could call it. A place where no one knows me or what I've been through. _

_Some part of me can't wait to get away from all of this and just hang out with Lucas, but another part of me doesn't want to leave the comfort of home. I finally have it all back and now I'm leaving it for a summer trip that has the potential to hold more drama than I can even imagine. --_

I'm immediately pulled out of my writing by a load racking on my door. I stand up making my way to the door but before I can even open it it flies open revealing one extremely excited Brunette.

"C'mon on Goldilocks we're gonna be late" I stare at her with utter confusion trying to figure out what she is talking about. "Haley's show... did you forget" She furrows her brows as a light bulb goes off in my head. "Actually I did. I thought it wasn't until next week." I give her my best puppy dog look trying to apologize for forgetting that my best friends performance was tonight. "Fine... you get away with that one, but we still have to go."

She pulls me out the door without letting me grab a thing. She shoves me in her car and proceeds to speed off without a care in the world other than making it to Haley's show on time.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

We pull up to this little hole in the wall club about 30 minutes later. I looked at Brooke with disgust and then back at the building. "This is it?" I asked. She slowly nodded her head with the same look I had just moments earlier.

We climbed out of the car and began walking towards the door. We were no more than two steps from the door when I heard Lucas call my name. I felt a lump form in my throat but immediately force it back down. I don't know why I had this feeling, but somehow I couldn't shake it. It was almost like I couldn't be around him without feeling weird. Weird about the way he made me feel, weird about the way I acted around him. Everything!

I force a smile as I turn around to meet his beautiful blue eyes. I give him a small hug and pull away just seconds later. I turn my head slightly to the left and I'm immediately greeted with that smile I fell in love with so long ago. "Hey Nate." I flash him an honest smile as I walk up to him as he gives me a warm hug. I sink into his chest and take in his scent. Somehow... I missed that smell. I hadn't seen him in so long and I couldn't have been happier to see him now.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

We all find a table in the front of this run down club that somehow feels homey. It might be trashy looking on the outside but the inside is just how I like it. Dim and small with loads of art covering the walls.

We talk amongst ourselves for a few minutes before the club owner comes out on stage. "We have a special treat for you tonight. One of our locals here Haley James is going to do an original song for us tonight... When she hits it bit..." He turned his head to look at her standing at the side of the stage. "I hope she knows we all expect recognition for helping her along... So here she is... HALEY JAMES EVERYBODY"

Haley took a seat on the stool in front of the mic and wrapper her guitar strap around her neck. She adjusted the tuning to her specifications and then adjusted the mic. "Thank you everyone for coming tonight... even if it wasn't for me." A slight chuckle rose from the crowd as she finished speaking "This song is new and it's the first time singing it in front of people so I hope you all enjoy... This song is called 'Halo'".

She glanced back at the house band and nodded. She turned back to face the crowd. She began strumming on her guitar and belted out the first verse.

"_I never promised you a ray of light._

_I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday_

_I'll give you everything I have_

_The good the bad"_

Haley looked out into the crowd searching peoples eyes for a response to her song. So far no one was booing or making faces so she knew it was good for now.

"_Why do you put me on a pedestal?_

_I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below_

_So help me down you've got it wrong_

_I don't belong there"_

By now Peyton, Chris, Lucas, Brooke, and Nathan were all clapping along with the beat and bobbing there heads to the music. None of them had heard this song before and they couldn't have been more proud of the girl on stage.

"_One thing is clear_

_I wear a Halo_

_I wear a Halo when you look at me_

_But standing from here_

_You wouldn't say so_

_You wouldn't say so if you were me_

_And I, I just wanna love you_

_Oh I, I just wanna love you"_

The whole crowd was getting into the song now. Chris was grinning from ear to ear as he watched his beautifully talented girlfriend sing her heart out on that stage. He wasn't sure what her inspiration was for writing that song and write now he didn't care. All he cared about was how she felt when she sang it and right now... She seemed to be loving every second of it.

"_I always said that I would make mistakes_

_I'm only human, and that's my saving grace_

_I'll fall as hard as I try_

_So don't be blinded_

_See me as I really am_

_I have flaws and sometimes I even sin_

_So pull me from that pedestal_

_I don't belong there"_

Haley couldn't help but smile at the reaction she was getting from the crowd. Everyone was clapping and cheering and she wasn't even done with the song. The best part was the smile she saw on her boyfriends face as she sang her song. She wrote it for him and was happy he was enjoying it. The song was meant to symbolize what he did for her. He treated her like she was a goddess and she felt like she was nothing more than a normal everyday girl. But that wasn't the case to Chris.

"_One thing is clear_

_I wear a Halo_

_I wear a Halo when you look at me_

_But standing from here_

_You wouldn't say so_

_You wouldn't say so if you were me_

_And I, I just wanna love you_

_Oh I, I just wanna love you"_

Lucas was staring intently at me with such loving eyes that my heart began to beat harder and faster than it ever had when I was around him. It was like for the first time I was actually letting myself feel something other than pain. He was allowing me to let love back into my life. Something I hadn't felt in such a long time. It was nice to feel that again.

"_Like to think that you know me_

_But in your eyes_

_I am something above me_

_That's only in your mind_

_Only in your mind"_

"_I wear a, I wear a, I wear a Halo"_

Everyone was standing and clapping now, which brought a huge smile to Haley's face. How could a group of people she had never met or sang for in her life, accept her the way they did. She wasn't sure how, but Chris was. It took a sincere face and warm voice to make people this happy... and Haley had both qualities.

"_One thing is clear_

_I wear a Halo_

_I wear a Halo when you look at me_

_But standing from here_

_You wouldn't say so_

_You wouldn't say so if you were me_

_And I, I just wanna love you_

_Oh I, I just wanna love you"_

"_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo_

_Hey, a wha ha Halo"_

Haley stood up as she finished her song. Everyone in the club was now on there feet and cheering and clapping, but she wasn't worried about them... she was worried about her friends and what they thought. That's what mattered most. Her eyes found there way through the crowd as she met her boyfriends eyes. She could tell right then that she did a great job. She smiled at the rest of her friends before saying her thanks and walking off stage.

**X-x-x-x-X**

We met up with Haley shortly after her performance to congratulate her and give her hugs. She did such a good job. I couldn't have been more proud and I'm sure the rest of them couldn't have been more proud either. She was wonderful. That song may have been for Chris, but I'm sure that it had a meaning to many of the people that were standing in that club... and I was one of them.

It's nice to have a guy like that. One that would do anything to make you happy and treated you so well that you felt you didn't deserve them. That's what a song was meant to do. Give meaning to what some guys will do for the girl they love, and she hit the nail on the head with that song.

**X-x-x-x-X**

It was getting late and I was getting tired so I decided to leave. I asked Brooke if I could borrow her car after making sure she had a ride home. She through me the keys and gave me a hug goodbye. I said my goodbyes to everyone else and began making my way out of the club I was slowly falling in love with. I was out the door and to Brooke's car when Lucas caught up with me.

"Do you mind if I come over so we can talk?" I stared at him trying to figure out what he had to talk to me about.

"Sure... You can ride with me if you want."

"Well my cars here so I'll just follow you if that's alright"

"Yea that's fine... I'll see you there"

He gave me a hug and told me to be careful before running to his car.

The whole way home I was in constant thought of what he had to say. Why did he wait until I was leaving to talk to me? Why was he so in need of talking to me? Was it that important? Oh god... what if he didn't want to see me anymore... What if I wasn't what he was looking for?

I shook the crazy thoughts out of my head as I pulled into my driveway waiting for Lucas to show up. I walked up to my door and pushed it open. Even after what happened I still didn't lock my door. Maybe I should, but somehow I still feel safe in Tree Hill.

I walk up the stairs to my bedroom and lie down on my bed awaiting Lucas' appearance. Awaiting this talk he had to have with me.

And there he was standing in my doorway. No time to think now... he was here.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X**

**Ok... so I wasn't planning on having Haley sing in this chapter but I absolutely love the song and I haven't had any Haley and Chris in this story at all. They weren't really in here but it was based around the song and them. Which also fell into play with Lucas and Peyton... Hope you enjoyed... please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

**LOVE SHELL**


	10. One Random Tradegy

**Ok let me first apologize for taking more than 2 months to update any of my stories. The past couple of months have been a bit rough. I haven't really had any good ideas to update this story or Perfect Situation. But I'm back now with more ideas and a new game plan. I actually already had this chapter written but come time to post it I changed my mind and rewrote it. It's sort of a filler chapter just trying to get it where I need it to be for the next chapter. I will most definetly have it posted within the next 24 hours. I hope you like it and you're not to mad about it taking so long. HERE IT IS**

**X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-X**

**Chapter 10 – One Random Tragedy**

There he was standing in my doorway and I was completely freaking out. I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen or what he would say. All I could do was pray he wasn't going to say he couldn't do this anymore. What ever "this" is. He was the closest thing to normal I had right now and I needed him in my life.

He finally walked into my room after standing in my doorway just watching me for a minute. "Hey Peyt." He said quietly. Not a whole lot of emotion was written on his face. Just blank stares. I was trying my best to read him, to see if I could tell what he had to say, but I saw nothing.

"Hey Luke... What's up?" I asked as cheerfully as I could.

He sat there silently for a few moments before even looking my way. I re-adjusted myself on the bed so I was sitting up. "Luke?"

He turned his head to look at me and I read his expression clearly. This was it.

"Peyton... I'm really sorry, but..." He started as he looked at me intently. "I'm not sure I can do this anymore. I'm not getting anywhere with this whole situation and it's killing me."

Those were not the words I wanted to hear. It's the same thing I did with Nathan. I don't know how I could have thought that Lucas could handle all of my issues. I can't even deal with all of my issues.

"What are you saying?" I asked shakily, fearful of what he was going to say.

"Peyton you know what I'm trying to say... Please don't make me say it"

"Then don't say it... Don't do this the day before we leave... I'd rather not go to Hawaii with us being like this." I cried. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to lose him, but there was no way I could keep him either, not with how things are going.

"I'm so sorry Pey." I hung my head low and let the tears freely flow. The one thing I didn't want to happen... did.

He took his hand and lifted my chin so i was facing him. "Hey..." He whispered "Look at me"

I lifted my eyes to meet his heart-melting baby blue eyes. "I really am sorry. This was the last thing I wanted to happen, but there's only so much one guy can handle." He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before walking out.

Ok so now I have to go on a trip to Hawaii with the guy that just shattered my heart, along with my ex-boyfriend, Brooke and Jake and Haley and Chris. This is going to be one hell of a trip. More like one miserable trip, but what can I do? I'm the reason it's going to be fucked up.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

**THE NEXT DAY**

"GET UP GOLDILOCKS IT'S TIME TO LEAVE... WE HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN 20 MINUTES!" I woke up to the yelling of the one and only Brooke Davis.

"GO AWAY BROOKE... I'M NOT GOING" I yelled as I covered my head with my pillow.

"OH yes you are! Whether you want to or not you ARE... GOING!" She through the covers off of me and preceded to dump a nice cold glass of water on me... isn't she just plain sweet?

"FINE! I'm not packed though so you better get to work" That was the last I saw of her until it was time to go.

"You ready?" Brooke asked as she ran up to me breathlessly carrying two suitcases.

"Brooke... We're only going for a week... Why do you have two suitcases?"

"Well Goldilocks it's pretty simple. You have three outfits for everyday, a pair of shoes for most outfits, accessories, hygeine stuff..."

"Brooke... Three outfits and shoes to match. You know who you were packing for right?"

"You're right... maybe I need more"

"Lets just go before we're late. More late should i say."

We walked outside and headed to the car. We threw the bags in a floored it to the airport. It was now 11:00 and the plane leaves at 11:45... Check in is an hour early. I'm not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing that we're so late. Good thing... I don't have to see Lucas. Bad thing... I don't get to see Lucas. It sounds like a lose, lose situation to me.

We pulled up to the airport at 11:20. We grabbed our bags and flew inside to be met by everyone.

"Where the hell were you? The plane is about to board?"

"No time for chit chat Hales... We have to get these bags checked in" I said walking quickly past her towards the counter.

"What's wrong with her?" Haley asks as they all look at each other.

Lucas knew exactly what was wrong, but wasn't exactly about to tell everyone. That was his and Peyton's business... Not his, Peyton's, and everyone else.

Brooke and I left the counter just as the plane was boarding.

We boarded the plane and began to find our seats. Mine was 14D.

I walked down the isle and searched for my seat. I came upon it and saw someone with there head down on the flip up table. I cleared my throat to get their attention. When they looked up I froze and didn't know what to do. I was staring into those ungodly beautiful blue eyes yet again.

How did I manage to do this. I book my ticket on-line and just pick a random seat, and low and behold who is it... none other than Lucas Scott. My life is one random tragedy just waiting to happen.

He stood up long enough for me to get in my seat before sitting back down and placing his head back on the table.

Now if this wasn't going to be an awkward trip I don't know what is.


	11. Do Not Disturb

**Chapter 11 – Do Not Disturb**

The plane ride could not have been longer. We had a 2 hour layover in LA which consisted of everyone laughing and talking and me sitting off in a corner by myself wondering why i'm putting myself through this hell. I knew it was gonna end up like this. So why did I come? I'm not even sure myself. Maybe b/c there's possibly that little hope that Lucas and I can work things out. I know it's a long shot, but what the hell, I've got nothing better to do.

When we finally were able to board the plane bound for Honolulu I was stuck sitting next to this older guy who did nothing but talk. I ignored him until he eventually got quiet. I spent that plane ride listening to my IPOD drifting in and out of sleep hoping this trip would magically get better.

We landed in Hawaii around 3 and headed straight for the hotel. It was actually a very nice hotel, more-so because it was beachside. It was peaceful just opening the window and staring out at the ocean waves crashing on the beach. But theres always a downfall isn't there? I'm rooming with the one person that won't even look at me. The one person who makes my heart skip a bit just hearing his name. And forget looking into his eyes. I get weak in the knees and short of breath. If only he knew how bad this was hurting me.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-X**

I took a walk on the beach shortly after getting settled in the room. I needed the fresh air and change of scenery. I couldn't stand to look at that brooding blonde anymore. He just sat on his bed without saying a word or even looking my way. I watched a little of TV and drew some, then decided it was time to get out. I figured he needed some space so before leaving I made sure to check for another room and see what they had open. I was in luck. They had one room open on the front side of the hotel on the third floor. Everyone else was up on the 10th floor. I decided to wait for Lucas to leave the room before I went back and grabbed my stuff and moved into the new room.

Right now it seemed like I was on this trip by myself. No one was talking to me or even making an attempt to talk to me. Am I really that horrible of a person that they would all ignore me and push me to the side on the trip we all planned together? It's like none of them can stomach being around me. This whole situation just makes me sad. I've been through so much this past year and all I need is for my friends to be there, and they can't even do that. Is it because of Lucas? I really wish I knew. Deep down in my heart I know if I really need them they'll be there for me, but right now there not really showing it.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-X**

I look down at my watch and realize I need to get back and get my stuff and move it into my new room. I slide my card and push down the handle and slowly walk in. Looks like a picked a great time to do it. Lucas is gone. I walk towards my bed and sit down and pull out a piece of paper and jot down a quick note for Lucas. Not really sure if he'll care but I figure I should at least explain why I'm leaving. I quickly grab what little stuff I had pulled out and stuff it all in my bag. I walk to the door and look around once more before walking out and heading towards my new room.

I walk in and set my stuff down and plop down on the bed. I release a heavy sigh before curling up under the covers and cutting on the TV. I get tired of flipping through the channels and realizing nothing is on. I cut it off and lay there for a few minutes before I slowly drift off to sleep.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-X**

Lucas walked into his room around 1 o'clock the next morning. Stumbling through before finally reaching his bed. Rolling over his face meets a neatly folded piece of paper. He picks it up and throws it on the table beside him. Too drunk to care what it is he'll deal with it in the morning. All he cares about right now is sleeping without being interrupted by Peyton in the morning. He didn't understand how his heart could ache every time she was around or how his breath caught in his throat every time he saw her, yet at the same time he couldn't stand to be around her.

When she left earlier he felt bad, as if he knew it was his fault she felt so alone on this trip. In fact he knew it was his fault. He had told Nathan, Haley, and Brooke all about their ordeal and what had happened when he went to her house that night. He made it all out to be her fault when it was partly his fault as well. Her friends didn't agree with how she had been treating the guys in her life. Especially with what happened to Nathan, but Nathan was the only one sticking up for her. He saw first hand what that kidnapping had done to her.

She wouldn't let any guy touch her without jumping. Every time they did she would end up crying and running off. They didn't see it like that. They saw it as her being scared and coping out. Nathan was that one true person in her life who really understood her and what she was going through. She needed support and she needed her friends to be there for her, but none of them had done that. They were all to caught up in themselves and their own hatred towards Peyton's ways to care that she was in a downward spiral.

Nathan wasn't the only one who knew what was going on. They all knew it. They were all too stubborn to get off that high horse and help her out though. Some part of Lucas actually felt bad for ditching her the way he did. But his heart couldn't take it. He was slowly falling in love with a girl that couldn't love him back. That's a pain that's indescribable.

There was a part of him that wanted to break down her barriers and open her up to love, but he felt like it was impossible. He had tried many times to get close to her. He was lucky if he could kiss her without her freaking out. He had gotten her to the point where he could hug her and she wouldn't tense up at his touch and he was slowly breaking those walls down. Then he got to the point where he couldn't do it anymore. He needed more and he wasn't getting it so he took away the only sense of normalcy she had for his own greed.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-x-X**

I woke up the next morning around 8 or so. I couldn't sleep all that well. I had a lot on my mind and I just couldn't stop thinking about all of it. I decided right then that I needed to change the way I was. I needed to stop thinking about what happened to me and not let it ruin what's left of my life. It's taken to much away from me already and I'm not gonna let it take anymore from me. I guess losing the best guys in the world would make anyone want to change. But is it that easy? To just up and change the person that situation has made me, to change who I am as a person right now?

I jump in the shower to freshen up before heading to the lobby for some breakfast. As soon as I walk in I see Nathan sitting at a table playing with his food. I grab a cup of coffee and walk over to the table.

"Is it okay if I sit here?" I ask shyly

He nods his head and I take a seat in front of him. I stir my coffee for what seems like hours before he finally talks to me.

"Are you okay Peyt?"

I look at him like he has two heads. What is he talking about am I okay? Does he not realize what they're all doing to me by making me the outcast?

"I'll be fine Nathan." I look back down at my coffee and feel his intense stare.

"I think you're lying. I know you better than that."

I look at him harshly. He has no right to start acting like he cares now when he hasn't said more than two words to me since we first boarded that plane in Raleigh.

"Don't start acting like you care how I'm doing now Nate. None of you has even tried to talk to me since we got here. No I'm not okay. My friends hate me b/c of how I've been acting. Do you even realize what I've been through?" I keep my voice down so I don't attract attention but it's firm enough to let him know that upset about how I'm being treated.

He lowers his head in shame as he whispers the word no.

"I didn't think so" I whisper before walking off.

As I'm walking back to my room I see Haley and Brooke heading towards me. They brush right past me as if I don't exist. I feel tears start welling up in my eyes. I take a look back to see them walk right over to Nathan with attitude evident in there strides. I turn back and lower my head. I sniff back my tears and wipe my eyes as I board the elevator. I didn't realize that there was actually someone else on board until he spoke to me.

"Hey" he whispers "are you okay?"

I look up at him with tear filled eyes and nod my head. "I'll be fine" I force a smile before the elevator reaches my floor. Before getting off I look back at him. "Thanks for caring though" I spin on my heel and exit and walk towards my room. So much for changing how I've been acting.

**X-x-x-x-x-x-x-X**

Lucas woke up the next afternoon with one hell of a hangover. Rubbing his head and throwing his legs over the side of the bed he realizes that last night probably wasn't the best time to drink. He was a little more than upset and that led him to drinking more than he should have. He went out with a couple girls he met on the elevator. He thought it was a good way to forget about Peyton but all it did was make him realize how much he missed having her around.

They were throwing themselves at him and he just acted as if nothing was going on. He sat at the bar downing beer after beer and ignoring there comments and the come-ons. His mind was elsewhere and they never even knew it. They were just as drunk as he was, if not drunker. Every comment he made that they thought were about them, was a comment he made about Peyton. How beautiful she was, and how smart and talented she was. How her smile could light up a dark room, and how her eyes hold the secrets of her world.

When he woke up he never would have thought he'd be in a room by himself with no sign of her whatsoever. Her bed was made, her pillows were straight, her suitcase was gone. And thats when he remembered the paper that was laying on his pillow when he got home this morning. He frantically looked around the room trying to find it. He spotted the now crumpled piece of paper on the bedside table. He slowly walked over to it, picked it up, and sat down on the bed.

He took a deep breath before opening it up and reading.

_Dear Lucas,_

_I know that you don't want to hear why I'm being so standoffish, but I feel like you need to know. You were the first person I saw after I was free of those men. You took me in and kept me safe until the cops arrived, and you've been taking care of me ever since. It's extremely hard for me to trust you or any guy right now. In my mind it's like you could hurt me just like they did at any moment. You had a right to break things off, but I wish that you wouldn't have made all of my friends turn against me. I feel more alone now then I did when I was trapped in that house. That's not the best feeling to have. I moved out of the room so that you could have the space you wanted without worrying about me being there. I won't be on this trip much longer. I'll be trading in my ticket within the next 48 hours and heading back to Tree Hill. I hope you have a great trip. For whatever its worth... I really did like you. I still do._

_Peyton Sawyer_

Lucas folded the piece of paper up and sat it back down on the table. He let out a deep sigh and called the front desk.

"How may I direct you're call?"

"Peyton Sawyer please"

"I'm sorry sir. Ms. Sawyer has asked to not be disturbed."

"Oh. Well thank you anyways."

Lucas sat back on the bed, his mind racing. He had to find her. She couldn't leave thinking that he didn't care about her at all.

**Ok so theres your next chapter. Within 24 hours as promised. I hope everyone that is reading is enjoying it. I'm gonna try and get out another chapter tonight. I'm working on it now. Please Please Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Feedback is welcomed.**

**LOVE SHELL**

**Special Thanks to Matt who reviewed on my last chapter. I'm glad you liked it!**


	12. Late Night Helper

**Chapter 12 – Late Night Helper**

Lucas was frantically searching the hotel for Peyton. He had seen no sign of her since the night before. He was starting to get worried. What if she was in trouble? No one was there to save her. How could he be so stupid? How could he just leave her like then and then treat her as if she didn't exist? He couldn't even think of the answers to his own questions. The only thing he could think of at the moment was finding Peyton.

He ran into Nathan on his way down to the lobby. "Hey Nate. You haven't seen Peyton have you?"

"No. I haven't seen her since we landed." He said shrugging his shoulders. "Don't you room with her?" He asked questioningly

"I did." Lucas stated simply as he handed Nathan the letter. "She must have left last night when I was at the bar. She put a Do Not Disturb on the room and they won't tell me what room she's in."

Nathan stared at him shocked by what was coming out of his mouth. Not 24 hours earlier he wanted nothing to do with this girl. Now he's all about finding her. "What's it matter to you where she is? You sure as hell didn't seem to care yesterday." Nathan's eyes bore into Lucas. He was getting severely pissed off with Lucas. Of all the people to start caring out of the blue... he's not one of them.

"OH! And you did? C'mon Nate... Face it... None of us has been kind to her, but that doesn't matter right now. We need to find her." Nathan's face softened at the seriousness of Lucas voice. Maybe he really was concerned about where Peyton was.

"Fine... Lets split up. I'll take the top 6 floors... You take the bottom 4 and the bars and lobby." Lucas nodded his head in agreement. "Call if you see her and I'll meet you where ever you're at."

"Sounds good" Lucas said before walking off. "Oh and Nate." He stopped and turned around. "Thanks"

Nathan flashed a smile. "No problem. Now lets get going"

**X-x-x-x-x-x-X**

I walked into this bar on the first floor of the hotel around 10. I was tired of watching absolutely nothing on TV and being slap bored out of my mind. I walked up to the bartender and order a shot of Jack. He asked for my ID and poured my shot. Thank god for fake Ids. A guy around 25-30 came and sat down on the bar stool beside me as I ordered another shot.

"Long day?" He asked. I looked at him and laughed

"Long year more like it." I said before downing another shot.

"What made it so long?" He asked as he ordered a vodka tonic.

"You really don't want to hear my sob story. Trust me." I decided to change up my order a bit and ordered a double shot of Jack instead. OK so maybe it was changed that much but it made me feel better.

_Later on that night._

"You had one hell of a year to say the least" He said as I drank another shot. Probably my 10th of the night. I was just a tad bit drunk by now.

"Eh... who cares. No one else seems to." I said as I swayed back and forth on my bar stool. "I think I need to get back to my room" I said grabbing my stomach. It was doing back flips by now and I needed to lay down.

"One more shot?" He questioned. I sat there for a minute before giving in. "All right... One more and then I have to go" I held up my finger and laughed goofily as he ordered the last round of shots.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"I still haven't seen her Nate. I've been back and forth to every room on every floor. No one has seen her?" Lucas was really getting worried now. How could 4 floors of people not have seen her. She was kinda hard to miss. Unless she was one of the rooms with no answer.

"We'll find her Luke. She's gotta be around here somewhere."

"Unless she left" Lucas said solemnly. "I'm gonna go check the front desk one more time. It's suddenly become and emergency and there gonna tell me what room she's in and give me a key." He was determined to find her. Nothing was gonna get in his way anymore.

"I'm gonna call Brooke and Haley. They might have seen her. You check with the front desk and if they tell you anything let me know." Lucas wasn't the only one getting panicked. Nathan has known Peyton for quite some time and she's never been one to pull a stunt like this. He was gonna find her.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"OK last one... I have to get back to my room" I stood up slightly and had to grab the barstool to stay standing.

"Let me walk you" He said as he wrapped an arm around my waist to hold me up. "What room are you in?"

"Ummm..." I started laughing as I tried to remember the room I was now staying in. "What was it again... 3... 3... You know... I don't quite remember."

"Well where's your room key... It says it on there."

"Oh right" I said as I pointed a finger in the air. "I got it" I searched my purse before coming across the slim bit of plastic. "Right here" I held it up and he grabbed it.

"Room 313... Gotcha"

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"C'mon Brooke answer your damn phone" Nathan said into the receiver for what seemed like the millionth time since he started calling. Nathan had been calling Brooke and Haley's cell phones for the past 20 minutes, unsuccessfully.

"What Nathan... I'm kinda busy" Brooke said irritatedly as she answered her phone.

"Brooke... Finally! Do you not know how to answer your phone"

"Why yes Nathan of course I do... I also know how to hang up. Now what do you want?"

"Have you or Haley seen Peyton? She's missing and we can't find her."

Brookes heart sank. "What do you mean she's missing. She was staying in Lukes room... Didn't he see her go?" She asked starting to panic

"She moved out of his room last night when we were all at the bar. No one has seen her since. We've been searching for nearly 2 hours and we still can't find her."

"I'm on it!" Was all she said before hanging up the phone.

"Hales... lets go" Brooke grabbed Haley by her arm and drug her out of the room.

"Brooke... stop... where are you going?" Haley asked as she tried her best to get out of her grasp.

"Peyton's in trouble" Was all Haley needed to hear as she quickly followed behind Brooke in a frantic search for Peyton.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"I've already told you sir, we are not permitted to give out room numbers." The clerk said trying to keep her voice down

"And I already told you that she's in trouble. She could be hurt and dying right now and no one would no it b/c you won't let me know where she's staying" He yelled at her. "Where's your manager... I'd like to speak with him."

"Sir, He has the night off he's not in. If you're that sure that she's in trouble contact the cops and let them take it."

"I'm not calling the cops damn it! Just give me her room number" He was starting to get tears in his eyes just knowing that she could be in danger and he was no where around to help.

Frustrated with not getting anywhere with the clerk Lucas walked off. He was gonna have to find her on his own. Apparently no one here cares about whether or not she's safe. He began to walk off as a young man stopped him.

"Sir..." Lucas turned around with an angry look in his eyes. "I think I know what girl you're talking about. She's got long curly blonde hair. She's fairly tall... Really light skin? That girl?" He asked hoping he could help

"Yea... Have you seen her?" Lucas asked with hope filled words for the first time that night.

"Yea... she was in the bar with some man just a little while ago." He said as Lucas' eyes bulged out of his head. "She was pretty wasted and I think he walked her back to her room"

Lucas couldn't help but feel scared now. She was with some random guy up in her room with no one to look out for her.

"You didn't happen to find out what room she was in did you?" He asked with the same hope in his eyes.

"Actually I did... and I just so happen to have a universal key." Lucas looked at him awkwardly. "I clean rooms here on occasion for some extra cash."

"Oh OK... so what room was it?"

**OK guys... I wasn't actually planning on doing this chapter this way, but I got the idea while I was at work and decided to change it up a bit. Lucas finally came to his senses about Peyton. So has Nathan, Brooke and Haley.**

**I'm gonna try and get another chapter posted tonight but I might not finish it all. So if anything it will be posted tomorrow!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! THERE VERY MUCH WELCOMED!**

**Hope you liked it!**

**LOVE SHELL**


	13. From Daydreams to Nightmares

**Chapter 13 – From Daydreams to Nightmares**

Lucas had finally made his way up to Peyton's room. He was knocking on her door with no success. He could hear movement but nothing that sounded like it was coming towards the door.

"Peyton open up it's Lucas... I need to talk to you!" He yelled. He heard a muffled voice but couldn't make it out.

"Peyton?" He asked as he knocked on the door again. "are you in there?"

Again he heard the muffled voice, but it was accompanied by stomping and a shrill scream. She was clearly in there but he couldn't figure out what was going on.

He pressed his ear up to the door trying to listen closer and see if he could figure out what was going on. He heard a man's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying.

Lucas' stomach knotted up. He felt his heart breaking into thousands of pieces. Maybe she didn't care about him at all. Maybe she just didn't want to be with him and that's why she used the excuse that it was too hard.

All the thoughts stopped when he heard Peyton yell.

"Get off of me!" I cried. I may have been a little wasted, but I knew what was going on and this wasn't right.

"You know..." The man started as he leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear. "You were a hard one to track down." I looked at him with curious eyes. What was he talking about? "When Bucky told me how he landed in jail, he asked me if I could come and take care of a little bit of unfinished business he had with you."

My eyes welled up with tears as I closed them tightly. Why was this happening... AGAIN. How could I be so stupid and let some guy I didn't know walk me to my room. I should have known better.

"Why?" I asked finally opening my eyes.

He looked at me for a second before simply answering "Because the chase is the best part."

I could feel a lump begin to form in my throat. I was getting short of breath and was sweating profusely. This was not going to happen again.

I knew Lucas was outside the door but I couldn't make any rash decisions right now. If I did someone was going to get hurt. But if I didn't yell for Lucas this man was going to rape me just like his friends did. So do I risk my life and let Lucas keep his. Or do I risk Lucas' life to save my own?

Never in my life could I have imagined I would have to make a life or death choice twice. The first time was a bit easier, there wasn't a whole lot of thinking that needed to be done. It was an easier situation. With this one I was risking the life of someone else to save my own.

I heard Lucas knock one more time and made my decision... This was it.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"C'mon Lucas answer your damn phone" Nathan yelled. Was this the night for everyone to ignore his calls or what?

"Hey it's Lucas... Leave a message..."

"Damn it" Nathan hung up the phone and continued his search. He'd been doing this for what seemed like hours on end and he still had no sign of Peyton. Now he had no sign of Lucas either.

He met up with Brooke and Haley on the second floor. "Anything?" He asked as he walked towards them.

They both shook their heads and answered no. "We haven't seen a sign of her at all. No one else has seen her either. The only thing that came close to letting us know where she was, was the bartender. He saw her about 45 minutes ago leaving with some guy that kept buying her shots." Brooke answered breathlessly

Nathan's heart sank. She was in serious trouble. There was no way this was random. Peyton wasn't the type of girl to let a random guy walk her to her room. Or was she?

"Come with me" Nathan said as he quickly walked passed Brooke and Haley and headed for the elevator.

"Where are we going?" Haley asked as she followed behind a slightly upset Nathan.

"To the front desk. I'm getting her room number. I don't give a damn what that bitch says to me. There's nothing stoping me from finding out. She's in trouble." He said visibly upset. "I just know she is" His voice was lower than a whisper as he spoke his last words. He and Peyton may not have been together anymore but that didn't mean he doesn't still care deeply for her.

**X-x-x-x-X**

"LISTEN TO ME DAMN IT!" Nathan yelled to the front desk clerk. "SHE'S IN TROUBLE OKAY. SHE LEFT THE BAR WITH SOME DRUNK ASS GUY AND HE WALKED HER TO HER ROOM... SHE JUST HAD 2 GUYS PUT BEHIND BARS FOR RAPING HER... SHE WOULD NEVER LET A RANDOM GUY WALK HER TO HER ROOM... I DON'T CARE HOW DRUNK SHE WAS... NOW GIVE ME THE FUCKIN ROOM NUMBER" Now he was not only visibly distraught but he was beyond pissed off. He was irate.

They weren't giving him Peyton's room number. They wouldn't let him talk to a manager. They were being no help to him at all.

"Sir... I've already told you. It's our policy to not give out room numbers unless there is substantial evidence that the person in question is in serious trouble. Now when our manager arrives in a couple of hours you can talk to him. Until then, I'm afraid I can't help you." She was slightly angry with Nathan but she had to keep her attitude in check if she wanted to keep her job.

"And in case you missed it. SHE'S BEEN RAPED BEFORE! Why would she let some random guy she met at a bar walk her to her room?" He asked mockingly. "Would you let a random guy walk you to your room if you'd been raped before?" He put up a good argument and he knew it when the look on her face went from stiff and angry to sad and scared.

She went over to her computer and began looking up Peyton's room.

"Thank you" Nathan said as the clerk flashed him a sad smile.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"LUCAS! HELP M..." He slapped me before I was able to finish what I was saying. I help my face as the tears that had been building up began to slowly trickle down my face.

"PEYTON" Lucas yelled banging on the door harder this time. He looked to his right where the guy that was helping him was standing. "You said you had the Key?" The guy nodded his head. "THEN WHERE IS IT?" Lucas was beyond scared. The girl of his dreams was screaming for his help and he was standing on the other side of the door praying for a way to get in to help her.

The guy dug through his wallet for a couple of seconds but to Lucas they seemed like years. He found it and went to hand it to Lucas, but before he could hand it to him, Lucas had grabbed it out of his hands and slid it down the lock.

Red light. He tried it again... Same thing.

"What's wrong with this key?" He asked trying it again.

He handed it to the guy who took it and looked at it. He immediately pulled out his wallet and searched for a different card.

"Well?" Lucas asked impatiently

"Sorry... wrong key" His hands were shaking as he looked through his wallet for the right card key.

"LUCASSSS" I yelled one more time only to be slapped even harder than the first time.

"I'm Coming Pey... Just hold in there?" It sounded stupid after he said it, but he didn't know what else to say. She obviously needed to stay calm.

"Hurry" He yelled to the guy before turning back to the door. His hands were shaking as the guy handed him the right card key.

He immediately ran it through the lock. Green light! He pushed down the handle and shoved the door open.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"Sir" The clerk called out to Nathan who was now frantically pacing around the lobby.

His head perked up as he ran towards the front desk.

"She's in room 313. Here's her key. If you get caught. You didn't get it from me?" She handed him the key and gave him a slight smile.

"Thank you so much ma'am" He walked off but quickly ran back to the desk. "I'm sorry about being so mean earlier it's just..." She cut him off.

"Don't be... I completely understand where you're coming from now. Now go help your friend" He gave her a quick smile and ran off towards the elevator with Brooke and Haley quickly in tow.

They stepped on the elevator and Nathan pushed the third floor button several times before the doors finally closed.

"Nathan" Brooke said quietly. "What if she's not okay? What if she's hurt" She had tears pouring out of her eyes now.

Nathan pulled her into a deep embrace. "She's gonna be fine" He whispered into her hair. Haley came up to him with tears in her eyes as well. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sure Lucas is with her right now and we're worrying for nothing."

Truth is... Nathan was just hoping she fine and that they were worrying for nothing. That was all he could do to keep himself from going crazy.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"Leave me alone" I pleaded as he grabbed my hand and tied it to the side of the bed.

"Shut up bitch" He yelled at me as he grabbed my other hand and tied it to the bed. Apparently trying to fight your way out of this sort of situation is a no go. I hit him once and he hit me twice as hard.

I was not going through this again. I wouldn't. There was so much fight left in me and he was not gonna take that away from me. When he went to grab my legs I kicked him in his face as hard as I could. He stumbled backwards and ran into the wall and fell down. He looked like he was out cold so I started trying to wiggle my hands free of the ropes. I did this for several minutes and finally got my left hand free. I was starting to work on the other one when I felt a hard blow to the side of the head and slowly fell to the dark.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

Lucas ran through the door and ran straight for the man hovering over Peyton's clearly limp body.

"What did you do to her you asshole?" Lucas screamed as he knocked the guy down to the floor.

Lucas was no match for this man. He quickly reversed their positions as he sat on Lucas and repeatedly hit him as hard as he could. The little helper Lucas had with him tried his best to help, but it was no use. He ran into the hallway and immediately started yelling for help.

Several people came out of their rooms to see what all of the commotion was. All they saw was this little guy with dark brown hair with a worried look on his face running down the hallways screaming for help. They didn't seem to worried about what was going on seeming as to how they all walked back in their rooms, shut their doors, and acted as if nothing was going on.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

Nathan stepped out of the elevator on the third floor and immediately began looking at the signs on the walls trying to find out which way room 313 was. He heard the faint cries for help coming from the hallway to his left. He immediately followed the voice when he came upon a distraught young man.

"Sir... She needs help... He needs help... They need help" He said breathlessly to Nathan.

"Who needs help... Peyton and Lucas?" He questioned

"I don't know there names. She's blonde... he's blonde" He said trying to give them a description

"Where are they?" Nathan asked getting nervous

The guy pointed down the hallway and Nathan started running towards the room. "You two stay with him... I'll be back" He yelled to Haley and Brooke

"But Nathan" Haley called out to him but he was already gone.

Nathan made his way down the long hallway when he heard the yelling and what seemed like fighting coming from a room up ahead.

313. There it was. He pushed down the handle but it was locked.

"Shit!" He frantically searched for the key that the clerk had handed him just minutes earlier. He found it in his right pants pocket as he pulled it out and slid it down the lock. Green light.

That's all he needed as he burst through the door. Anger and rage burning his insides.

He ran towards Lucas as he quickly pulled the guy off of him and threw him towards the wall. He helped Lucas up before he got knocked down himself. Within seconds the cops were swarming the room handcuffing not only the guy that brought Peyton to her room, but Lucas and Nathan as well.

"Wait a second dude... we're the ones trying to save our friend. We didn't kidnap her and bring her up here" Nathan said as he was thrown against the wall with handcuffs being slapped to his wrists.

"First of all... My name is not 'Dude' It's officer Tilly and second of all... You have to come with me anyway. Now get moving" He said as he pushed Nathan in the right direction.

Lucas didn't fight the cops at all. He stood where they wanted and did as he was told. He didn't care what happened to him at this moment. He just wanted Peyton to be safe.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

The paramedics tended to Peyton in her room. The untied her hands, checked her vitals, and gave her a dose of medicine to ease the pain as she woke up. They wanted to take her to the hospital but Brooke and Haley pleaded with them to let her stay in her room They didn't want her to wake up in the worst place possible after the night she just had.

They agreed to let her stay, but warned them to bring her to the hospital if she was in any state of pain or disarray. They feared she had a concussion from the blow to the head she took, but upon her friends request let her stay with them.

Nathan and Lucas were brought down to the station where they were both questioned and released. They immediately headed back to the hotel to check on Peyton.

When they walked by the front desk the clerk stopped both of them. "I am so sorry for not giving you the information you needed right away. I feel so bad now" She cried to them with tears in her eyes. She felt horrible about what happened and was blaming herself for Peyton being hurt.

Nathan and Lucas walked up to the counter and smiled. Nathan read her name tag before addressing her.

"It's ok Cindy. You were just doing your job. We can't put the blame on you for that. Besides... after some persuasion you gave me the room number and her card key. You saved her life."

She smiled through her tears as she wiped them away. "Would you give her my best for me?" She asked

Nathan nodded his head. "Sure." He said before walking away.

Lucas gave her a nod and smile before hustling back to Peyton's room. He had to check on her.

**X-x-x-x-x-X**

"Thank you so much for helping Lucas out, Brad" Brooke started "She might have been dead if it wasn't for you"

He shook his head. "You don't need to be thanking me. You need to be thanking that blonde headed friend of your's. He did all the work. All I did was freak out." He said genuinely

"Well for whatever it's worth. You're a hero by my book" Haley said before giving him a hug.

"How is she?" Lucas asked running up to them

"She's sleeping now" Brooke answered "The doctor's gave her some medicine to ease the pain when she woke up. They said she might not remember anything about tonight when she woke up or she could be severely distraught and scared when she woke up. They weren't sure. We convinced them to let her stay here so she wouldn't have to go to the hospital. If she wakes up with any pain of she's freaking out severely we have to take her to the hospital."

Lucas looked into the room and slowly walked in with everyone following behind him. He stood beside her bed and moved a stray piece of hair out of her now bruised face.

He turned around and saw everyone staring at him. He walked up to Brad and held out his hand. "Thank you for helping me man. You don't know how much I appreciate it"

Brad took his hand. "Glad I could help out" They shook hands and smiled before Lucas turned back towards Peyton.

"C'mon guys. Let's leave Lucas alone with Peyton for a while" Nathan said as he led the way to the door.

"Lucas" Haley said quietly "If you need us when she wakes up... call us ok?"

Lucas nodded his head. "O.k"

He moved closer to the bed as he grabbed this ugly chair and moved it beside her bed. He took a seat and stared at her face. Peaceful. That's how she looked at this very moment. After such a night how could she look so peaceful?

He lightly stroked the side of her face with one hand as the other held her hand. He wanted her to wake up. He wanted to make sure she was ok.

He laid his head down on the edge of her bed never letting go of her hand. He was exhausted after what just happened. He didn't want to sleep because he didn't want to miss her waking up, but sleep was overcoming his body.

He was about out when he felt her stir slightly. He quickly lifted his head as he watched her eyes flutter open. "Hey" he whispered.

One look at Lucas and she immediately began screaming. "NO!... HELP!... LEAVE ME ALONE!"

She tried her best to get away from him as he quickly stood up.

"Peyton it's me... Lucas... I'm not gonna hurt you" He said quietly but loud enough for her to hear him.

"Don't hurt me... I won't tell anyone I swear" She cried as she curled up in a ball on the other side of the bed.

He sat down and scooted closer to her slowly trying not to scare her. "I could never hurt you Peyt" He said but she was still panicky.

"Do you remember anything that happened?" He asked

She lifted her head. "He hurt me. He was gonna do the same things they did. They're all the same. You're one of them aren't you? GET AWAY FROM ME!" She screamed.

Lucas didn't know what to do. She thought he was gonna hurt her. Maybe she just couldn't see his face. He leaned over the edge of the bed and she started freaking out even more.

"NO! Please don't hurt me... I promise I won't yell anymore... just don't hit me" She cried

"I'm not gonna hurt you Peyton... I'm just gonna turn on the light ok" She didn't say anything as he turned the lamp on.

"See... It's just me" His face was as soft as he could muster.

She relaxed slightly but she still wasn't convinced as he moved closer to her. He lifted his hand as she flinched at the movement. He let his hand slightly graze her cheek. "It's ok Peyton. I'm not gonna hurt you"

She looked at the sincerity in his eyes and relaxed into his touch. As soon as he felt her loosed up he moved in and engulfed her into a hug where she began to sob.

"Why do they keep hurting me?" She asked choking on her tears

"I don't know Peyton... I don't know" He ran his hands through her hair as he felt her tears soaking through his shirt.

She quickly pulled away and looked at him with fear in her eyes. "I can't do this." She scooted closer to the edge of the bed trying to get away. "You could be just like them... I... I..." She began crying harder as she curled back up into a ball.

Lucas followed her. He needed her to know that he was here to help her... not hurt her.

"Sweety you're thinking about it to much... I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm here to keep you safe" He slowly inched closer to her.

"I can't... I have to think... I have to"

He put his hand back in the same position it was just moments earlier. "Don't think about it Peyton. Just feel." He said simply "Do you feel like I'm going to hurt you?" He asked as she shook her head

"No" She said closing her eyes

"Then let me help you" He said pulling her into a hug "Let me help you through this and keep you safe. Stop pushing me away, just let me help you"

She nodded her head against his chest. "Ok" She with a tear filled half smile.

She pulled away and looked at him. "Ok"

Lucas leaned down slightly and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Ok"

**Ok guys... I was gonna post this a couple days ago, but I changed up this chapter a little bit. It was a lot shorter, but I had some stuff I wanted to add to it. Now do you see why I chose that title? I had a couple of different ways to end this chapter and I ultimately just added them together and got that. I really love how this chapter turned out, but you be the judge. **

**I'm not sure if this is the end or not. If you want me to add another chapter let me know. If not I'll end it as is!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**LOVE SHELL**


	14. What is Normal?

**A/N: So it's been about a year since I ud'd this story. I've been working pretty hard on Saving you or Saving Me and another story that I haven't posted yet. It's probably my favorite story that I've written so I'm taking my time with it. I got a little bit of writers block and finally decided it was time to finish up this one. This chapter is more of a journal entry from Peyton to show where she's at in her life a year later. I hope you enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think. I have another chapter ready to post after this one!! SO ENJOY!!**

**Chapter 14 – What is normal?**

You know... I used to sit and wonder what it was like to have a normal life. But when I think about it all I find myself doing is wondering what a "normal" life truly is. Is it one where your happy and you never fight with anyone. Or is it one where its not like the story book romances on tv. You do have fights and there will be tough times in your life, but through it all... isn't that what makes your life normal. Then why is it that I feel like I am leadding a life thats the furthest from normal as it can get?

I'll never know the answer to my questions. All I can do is live my life the way the cards are dealt to me. I have lived a tough life. My father was never around and my mother died when I was young. That's normal things in life that happen to me. "People always leave" right? Well why is it that when I actually want them to leave they stick around and I'm the one left running? Or why is it that I was kidnapped and held hostage somewhere in-between nowhere. Or why is it that somehow... it kept happening. No matter where I was or where I went or who was with me, they always found me.

I guess nothing in life is truly ever fair. I wasn't put here on this earth to live an easy life. I was put here to face the challenges that life throws at me every day. Be it guys, or love, or money, or friends and family, everything is a challenge. You just have to take it in stride. At least thats what I was supposed to do. Face my biggest fears head on and learn from them. Then why did I run?

A year ago to the day I left the place that was the source of all my grief. There was some good things that came out of there sure. But in the end, it just hurt to think about everything. Even when I wasn't thinking about it, it would find its way into my thoughts just by seeing something or someone that reminded me of the past. In the end... It all boils down to one person that made me run. Lucas Scott. The boy who saved my life and showed me that it is possible to love and trust again. That their really is good in this world. But was it to late?

After that night in the hotel I wasn't the same. I couldn't bring myself to be happy and go out and have fun. I didn't want to leave my house, afraid that if I did something bad would happen. Lucas didn't mind. He'd sit with me all day doing nothing at all. He did it because he wanted to be with me, he wanted to help me. I was beyond repair. The only way to become normal again was to leave. At least thats what I thought. I did leave. I found myself moving further and further south. Settling in this small town in north Florida.

It's no Tree Hill that's for sure, but it'll do. I don't have many friends. I have one to be exact. I work with her. Her names Brandy. She's pretty cool. She's really the only one I have that I can talk to. I haven't talked to anyone back home since I left. I felt it best to just drop that part of my life for a while. I got calls and texts from them, but I just couldn't return them. Part of me just wanted to talk to them so bad, but I knew if I did I wouldn't ever get the help I truly needed. The main part being a break. I needed to just get away from it all. Get away from the life I had and the torment it dealt me.

I could be happier, but for now this'll do. I was starting to think I wanted to go back home and at least visit, but I didn't think I'd be welcome. After all, I did desert the only people that ever truly cared about me. I left a boy I loved more than anything, yet never told. I know I broke his heart and in turn it broke my heart. It'll never be fully repaired until I talk to him, but at this point in my life that's not possible. So I wrote him a letter instead. I mailed it last week. I'm sure he's got it by now.

I also wrote one to Brooke and Haley. They deserve to know why I left and how hard it was for me to leave. None of the letters have a return address on them and I even drove to GA just to mail them. It's pathetic I know, but I can't risk having them find me. So until I get the nerve to actually show my face around there again, that's the best I can do.


	15. My Truth

**Chapter 15 – My truth**

"Where are you taking me Peyton?" Brandy asked me from the front seat of my car. "We've been driving for hours and I'm so tired of listening to this moody rock you just love some much"

I couldn't help but giggle. She was more like a pop princess while I was the moody rocker. We were polar opposites in so many ways but we were alike in more ways. She knows me better than most and she never judges me or the things I do. That's why I love her so much. Even back in Tree Hill my friends would judge me or the things I did. Not intentionally, but they did it.

"We're going somewhere special. I just..." I breathed out a sigh as I thought of how to explain this situation to her. "I just need to be sure of some things... that's all."

Brandy looked at me quizically and I just stared at the road hoping she wouldn't try and dig deeper. "What do you mean you need to be sure of some things?"

She never was one to let things go that easily. "Please don't ask any questions... I really can't answer them right now." I replied knowing she'd hate my answer, but it was the best I could do.

"Well you better get talking Miss Thang. You've had me sitting in this car for 10 hours now and all I know is you need to find out some things. That and we've just entered North Carolina."

I looked over at her and simply smiled. She just figured it out.

"Wait a second..." She started as the wheels started spinning in her head. "You're not taking me where I think you're taking me are you?"

BINGO!! I couldn't help but laugh. She never was one to pick up on things right away.

"Yes... I'm taking you back to my hometown." I looked back at the road with only a slight smile left on my face. Sure... I wasn't completely ready to be here but I had to know what the friends I left are doing now.

"But I thought you didn't want to come back here. It held to many bad memories for you."

I flinched at the thought. I decided it was time to tell her about the letters. Better she know now versus having to find out later.

"It does hold bad memories." I took in a deep breath before continuing "But I wrote 3 letters a couple weeks ago to the people that meant everything to me. I just need to know they're okay and that they're happy you know." I looked at her trying to get an answer.

"No I don't know." She stated plainly. "You just told me you left because you needed to get away form them. That they were the reason you couldn't get the help you needed"

"Well yea... that... and I knew if I stayed I wouldn't be Peyton again. I'd still be the girl that was kidnapped and raped and I didn't want that. They treated me like some piece of glass that could shatter at any given moment and all that did was make the situation I was in worse."

"So then why write to them?"

What a question that was. I wasn't even sure why I wrote to them. I just felt like it was a good idea to let them know why I left.

"Because they needed to know why I had to do it. Why I had to leave them and not speak to them for an entire year. They deserve that much. They probably won't even speak to me while I'm there, but I need to know how they're doing. It would make me feel better."

"What did the letters say then? Was it that bad?"

I sat there and thought about the letters I had written just mere weeks ago. They weren't bad at all... more like telling them the pain I truly felt that I didn't tell them while I was there.

That was the hardest thing I have done to date. Writing down exactly how you feel about a given situation has never been easy for me. I'd just rather it be all bottled up inside me never to be let out into the world. But I couldn't do that to them anymore. They deserved to know. The main letter I was focusing on was Lucas'. His was the hardest one to write. Brooke and Haley's came naturally, but trying to tell Lucas how I truly felt about him was harder than I could have ever imagined.

He held the small envelope firmly in his hands as he slowly got into his truck. Looking down at the handwriting he knew immediately who it belonged to. But why now? He closed his eyes tightly and took in a slow, deep breath. Thinking hard about whether or not he should in fact open this small item he held so tightly in his hand. On one hand... He wanted to know what she had to say. He wanted to know how she was doing and if she was okay. But on the other hand... He doesn't want to know any of it. Not why she left or how she's doing or even if she was even sorry for just up and leaving.

Sliding his index finger slowly along the seal of the envelope he opened up her letter. Gently pulling out the piece of paper as if it would somehow break he slowly began to read.

"_Dear Lucas,_

_I know your mind is probably reeling with questions about this letter and whether or not you should in fact read it. The choice is yours, but I hope you do. If you choose not to I completely understand._

_There's so many things that I want to say to you, but I just can't seem to find the right words to help you understand. I can sit here all day and say to myself everything I want to tell you and everything I want you to know, but as soon as my pen touches the paper I just can't seem to make the words come out right. Here's the best I can do._

_I never meant to hurt you when I left. I never meant to hurt anyone for that matter. I just needed to get out of Tree Hill and sort things out. There's so many good memories that I had there, but the bad just seems to outweigh the good right now. You know more than anyone the pain I felt everyday I was there after what happened so I'm hoping that you knowing that makes you understand this even more. _

_My head just wasn't in the right place. I couldn't let anyone in, including you. I wanted to. I really did, but I just couldn't get my head out of that place. Every time I closed my eyes they were there. Every time you touched me I saw them. I just couldn't deal with that. It was too much for me. Getting away from the things that made me remember those thoughts just seemed like the best option. _

_I know you probably don't understand right now, but I still needed you to know. I did love you. God knows I did. You're the reason I'm still alive and I owe so much to you because of that. You're truly the best guy that will ever cross my path and I'm sorry I messed that up. I hope one day that you'll forgive me. _

_I'm so sorry that I never returned a call or a text from you. I didn't want to risk being found. This past year has changed me so much and made me become a better person. Getting away from it all is what made that happen. So if anyone was to find me I wouldn't have been able to help myself. Do you at least see my point in this? I really hope you do._

_One day I will come back to see all of you, and I hope there's not too many hard feelings there. Take care of Brooke and Haley for me!! I love you to pieces and I'll never stop._

_Love Always_

"_Peyt"_

Closing up the little piece of paper he slowly let a tear slide down his cheek. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did he have to lose the one girl he truly loved? All these questions and not one answer. He had to see her, but where would he start. The letter was postmarked from Ga, but he knew Peyton to well. If she didn't want to be found, she wasn't going to be found. She may not be in Ga but she's somewhere around there. He just knew it, and he was gonna find out.

"Are we almost there yet?" Brandy whined from the front seat of my car.

"Yes ma'am!!" Her face lit up at the sound of being close. "We're just outside of Tree Hill now"

"Thank you lord!!" She said dramatically "I'm starving... gotta any good places to eat in this town?"

I thought to myself for a second. There was a couple good places to eat in Tree Hill, but none of them were places I needed to be seen in. "I can take you somewhere to eat, but I can't stay"

"What? Why?" She asked

"Because I don't want to risk being recognized. This trip is for me to observe without being seen."

"Oh look at you James Bond... trying to be all sneaky and shit."

I couldn't help but giggle. "That's Mrs. Bond to you my dear"

"Oh whatever" She said through a hearty laugh. "You're so retarded"

"I get it from you"

"UH!! I'm hurt?" She said holding her right hand to her head and her left over her heart.

"The truth usually does that to a person." I laughed

"HEY!!"

"Look... we're here!" I said pointing to the welcome sign for Tree Hill.

"Finally... FOOD!!"

"You sound like a child"

"So what... You've had me in this car for near bout 15 hours... you lost the right to complain about my child like behavior over 10 hours ago." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine... I'm taking you to food right now"

Just a few short minutes later we arrived at Karen's Cafe. It still looked the same and I'm glad. It looked as if Lucas was here to which meant I had to do a drop and run. Not one of my better moves but it needs to be done.

"Ok... You have to get out now. He's here and I can't have him notice me. So I'll pick you up in say..." I looked down at my watch before finishing. "45 minutes. That should give you enough time to eat and relax while I find a hotel room for the night."

She looked at me with sad eyes and I could tell what she was thinking. "Just go B... I'll be fine. Just do me a favor and get me a Cheeseburger all the way. No tomatoes and an order of Cheese sticks with extra marinara sauce."

"Ok girl. You be careful. I'll see you in 45" With that she exited my car and walked into the cafe. I sat there until I saw her reach the counter and Lucas approach her to take her order. He looked so handsome. His hair was a bit longer than when I left and he had one hell of a five o'clock shadow going, but he still seemed to make my heart flutter even after all this time. Just looking at him was killing me. I left just moments later and headed towards Tree Hill Inn to get a room for the night.

It was no Ritz Carlton but it'll do. 2 beds sat across from each other covering up old, dingy brown carpet. A tv sat in the middle of the room on a small table connected to an even smaller dresser. The shower smelled of eggs and the floor was sticky, but I guess it beats sleeping in the car.

Before I knew it 45 min had come and gone and I was late picking up Brandy. Doesn't look like she noticed though, considering she had Lucas keeping her company. I pulled the hood over my head to cover up my blonde curls as I lightly tapped on the horn to get her attention.

They both looked over in my direction and I could tell she got a little nervous. A small smile crept up on Lucas' face as he slowly waved in my direction. Standing up he led Brandy to the door and walked her out. I thought I was gonna pass out right there. Not even in town an hour and I'm about to be noticed. To my luck he stopped at the curb and waved goodbye to Brandy as she quickly jumped in the car as we sped off for the motel.

Silence overtook the old black mustang as we drove slowly down Main St. Both of us thinking quietly to ourselves about the events that had just taken place. I was almost seen by the one person I truly can't have recognize me. I slam my fist into the steering wheel as I pull the car off the road.

The tears begin to fall as Brandy looks sadly over at me and gently rubs my back.

"What's wrong Peyton?" She asks me her voice just above a whisper.

"I can't do this B..." I lift my now red eyes to meet her gaze. "I can't be here. All those damn memories are flooding my head again." I punch the steering wheel again as I bury my head into the open hole. "He hasn't changed a bit since I've been gone. Those damn butterflies are still there and I didn't even talk to him."

I look back over at her just in time to see a small smile creep upon her face. "What are you smiling for?" I ask with a hint of attitude. "This is not a funny situation in the slightest!"

"You're not the only one thinking of the past P"

I look at her with wide eyes and an open mind. "What are you talking about?"

"The whole time I was there... He talked to me about this girl who broke his heart and he just can't seem to get over her."

A smile tugged at my lips as she began telling me the rest of her night with Lucas. "You see this girl left him a year ago without so much as a goodbye and until now he had heard nothing from his long lost love." My smile began to broaden as I choked on my tears. "Now that he's heard from her he just can't get her off his mind. The way she smelled or the way her curls bounced when she walked... or the way a smile would creep upon her face at the slightest words he would say to her."

Immediately my tears began to fall yet again as I thought of the disappointment I must have brought him. This lost little girl who couldn't find her way. The girl who used to be so strong that just gave up on the world because she couldn't get over the bad things that had happened to her.

"He still loves you P... He never stopped. It's so obvious by the way he talked about you."

My eyes fell downward as she gently rubbed my back again. "You need to go talk to him Peyton. He deserves that much."

"What did you say to him?" I asked

"What?" Her head cocked to the side as I urged her on. "I told him to just stick it out. If this girl truly loved him the way he said she did, she'd come back to him when she felt the time was right."

"Brandy!" She gave me a smug look and I couldn't help but smile. "You shouldn't have told him that. I didn't come here to actually talk to him I just wanted to see him."

"You can't lie to me girl. You should know that by now. I can read you like an open book... and he can as well." I smacked her arm as I felt my cheeks turn 3 shades of red. He still had that affect on me. What a shocker that was.

"Go talk to him. Go see for yourself how he's doing."

My gaze turned back to the road as I put my car in drive. "I can't" I headed back to the motel to take a much needed rest. This was too much too fast, but she had a point... I have to talk to him and see how he is for myself. But not before I talked to Brooke and Haley first.

I wheeled the car back around and headed for Brookes house. I just had a feeling that she and Haley would both be there. Talking about my letters more than likely. Why not show them myself what I truly meant in those letters.

**Would ya look at that... I updated and it didn't take me a year!! WOOHOO!! Go me!! I hope ya'll liked it!! It's not the longest chapter but I think it fits in with the story right. Moving slowly, but the next chapter is the key turning point. I think I'll add maybe 3 or 4 more chapters and then call it quits with this story!! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!! And if theres anything you would like to see happen please let me know... any help is good help at this point. OH and I'm actually in desperate need of a BETA so if you know one or you are one and are interested in being a huge help to this hopeless writer... please let me know!!**

**MUCH LOVE!! SHELL**


	16. Confrontation

**A/N: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS!! I'll leave the chatter for later!! GO ON AND READ!!**

**Chapter 16 – The Confrontation**

"_Hey Brooke... Haley... so let me guess... you're both wondering why I chose to write a 2 in 1 letter right?? Well, I felt it better to tell both of you this at the same time since the 2 of you are my best friends. Brooke, I'm so sorry for leaving but I know you of anyone would understand why I did. It just got to be too hard. All the memories of summers past kept lurking in the shadows and I couldn't deal with it. Pretty much like how I couldn't deal with losing people out of my life. Haley, I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you when you needed me to. I'm not sure if Brooke knows yet but she should that's why this is in here. Just because you thought or think that you're not good enough for Nathan is no reason to not take a chance with him. I may sound like a hypocrite at the moment but if I can't follow my own advice I might as well try and help people along the way. _

_I'm in a good place right now you 2. I'm finally getting back to the old me. The Peyton Sawyer that didn't let anyone or anything drag her down. Ok... so that might not be who I was really... but thats who I'm becoming and thats more important. I have a great life where I'm at and a friend that I can depend on. She's just like you Brooke. Crazy, fun, energetic, and loves the boys. :) But she's got a lot of Haley qualities too... she has a beautiful voice. One that soothes the soul. Just like you Haley. _

_I'll be home to see you 2 one day. I just can't say when. I don't want to go back before I'm truly ready and I hope you 2 understand that. I love you 2 so much and miss you even more everyday. I hope you understand where this is coming from. _

_Love Always_

"_P.Sawyer"_

The two girls set the piece of paper down as they held each other and cried. This was the first time in a year they had heard anything from Peyton. And to know that she was doing alright made them so happy yet so sad because they had no influence on that change. This other girl did along with the new life she was living. But as long as she was happy and becoming herself again they didn't care.

The girls pulled away and laughed a bit to themselves. "We're such babies" Brooke said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I know..." Haley laughed "I'm glad she's ok though. I was worried about her"

"Me too... but this is P.Sawyer we're talking about. She's strong."

"Yea... but that sort of situation can take even the strongest down."

Brooke sighed. "I know... But the fact that she is so strong is what kept her alive and brought her to this point. I couldn't be more proud."

Haley half smile. "You're right. She'll always be like that."

They sat in silence for a moment as they thought about Peyton. They were shaken from their thoughts with a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Brooke stood up and exited the room walking towards the door.

She peered out the window to see who it was but it was too dark to tell.

Opening the door a crack she peeked out.

"Hey." Brandy said

"Umm... Hi" Brooke spoke slowly unsure of who this girl was. "Can I help you?"

"Actually you can." Brandy gave her a warm smile. "May I come in for a minute."

"Umm..." Brooke looked back at Haley who shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."

Brooke opened the door so Brandy could step in. "I'm assuming your Brooke" She extended her hand as Brooke tilted her head to the side and shook her hand.

"Yea... I am. How do you know that?" She asked

Brandy turned her attention to Haley. "And I take it your the infamous Haley James with the best voice in all of Tree Hill." She shook Haleys hand as she looked around the house. "Nice place. It's just as she described it."

"What are you talking about? Who are you and how do you know us?" Brooke said with a bit of an attitude.

"Oh... I'm sorry" Brandy laughed. "I actually came to talk to you 2 about someone." They looked at her as they urged for her to go on. "Peyton Sawyer."

Their eyes became the size of golf balls at the mention of Peyton. "How do you know her."

Brandy took a seat on the couch as they followed. "Well... Peyton is my roomate."

"What?" Haley chocked out as she spit her coke halfway across the room.

"When she left here she moved to Florida. On the coast to be exact. That's where I met her."

"So you're telling us that THE Petyon Sawyer is your roomate down in Florida.?" Brooke asked trying to wrap her head around the situation.

"Yes... that is exactly what I'm saying" She smiled at them hoping they weren't too angry.

"But where is she? Why isn't she with you? If she were your roomate she would be here." Haley asked trying to figure out if this girl is in fact who she says she is.

"Who are you anyways? What's your name?" Brooke chimed in.

"Oh... I'm sorry" Brandy laughed. "My names Brandy. Brandy Baker."

"Ok Brandy..." Brooke started. "So where is P.Sawyer."

"Well... She's here actually."

Brooke and Haley both looked at each other in shock.

"Why didn't she come in here with you?" Haley asked.

"Becuase she wasn't sure how well her re-appearance in Tree Hill would be received with everything that happened and they way she left."

Brooke and Haley both had tears starting to form in their eyes as they tried to wrap their heads around the current situation at hand.

"So she's here... Like literally here?" Brooke asked.

"Yes... she's sitting outside in the car waiting for me to go back out there and say whether or not its safe for her to come see you 2."

Haley laughed through her tears. "Why would she do that? She knows how much Brooke and I love her. We want nothing but the best for her."

Brandy sat there for a second trying to figure out how to answer such a question. If she answered it wrong it could mess up the entire trip for Peyton.

"She feels like..." Brandy couldn't find the words but by looking at the girls she knew she had to say something. "Shes got it in her head that because of the way she left... everyone is going to hate her. That your not going to accept why she left and your just going to see it as running away and leaving everything behind."

"That's not true. We couldn't ever hate her." Brooke replied.

"She's like our sister and no matter what happens, sisters will always love each other." Haley said quietly.

"I'm going to get her" Brooke stood up and walked towards the door determined to go get her P.Saywer.

"NO!!" Brandy yelled after her.

"If she sees you coming at her she'll panic and she'll drive off. She gets spooked too easy. Its even worse now that we're here. You should have seen her when she saw Luke at the cafe, she completely freaked out and sped off. Let me go tell her." Brandy tried to reason.

"NO!" Brooke said as she turned the doorknob. "This is my best friend we're talking about."

Brookes tears were now flowing freely as were Haleys. This night started with a letter and a possible visit and turned into an actual visit. Neither of them knew how to handle this situation. All they wanted was to run out and hug her and they couldn't even do that for the fear of scaring her off. They wanted to be the ones to walk out and say it was ok to come in. That they still loved her and were so proud of her for getting better.

Brooke's hand fell off the doorknob and she embraced Haley in a much needed hug.

"I'll go get her." Brandy quietly said as she walked out the door.

I looked up as soon as I heard the door click open. When I saw the look on Brandy's face as she walked solemnly down the stairs I immediately got the feeling that things didn't go so well.

"Hey" Brandy said quietly as she sat down in my car.

"How'd it go?" I asked as I stared out towards the road with all the intention of starting my car up and driving off right then and there.

"Surprisingly good" She replied with a smile

"What?!" I spun my head around with a look of shock apparent on my face. "You can't be serious." She nodded her head. "They weren't mad?"

"No." She flashed me a smile before continuing. "They cried... A lot to be exact. Seems to me they're just happy to know their 'P.Saywer' Is back in town for a well needed visit."

Tears started streaming down my face at the mere fact that they were happy I was home. Back in Tree Hill to see them. I was so happy that I didn't know what to say. Then I started panicing. What if they don't like what I have to say. What if they get mad when I tell them what I've been doing? What if... What if... What if??

"You need to chill out P. They're far too happy that you're here for you to be worrying yourself with these stupid what ifs that are running through your head right now."

"You know me too well B." She smirked as she got out of the car.

"Why yes I do... Now I think it's about time you got that scrawny ass of yours in that house. Sound good?" She said as she opened my door.

"Yea" I shyly said as I stepped out of my car.

As we started walking back towards the house I started remembering all the good memories we had in this house. Stupid dress up games with Brooke were a Saturday night ritual when we were younger. I miss those times. I really do, but hopefully now we can make new memories in this house.

"Here we are." Brandy looked at me as if to ask if I was ready.

"Lets go." I opened the door only to be shoved even further outside as Brooke and Haley both wrapped their arms around me.

"I'm so glad your home!" Brooke cried.

"Me too" Haley squealed

"Guys..."

"Yea..." They replied in unison.

"I... can't... breath"

They laughed as they released me from their death grip of a hug.

"Sorry" Brooke chuckled "Well c'mon inside you two... we've got some catchin up to do."

An hour later and here we were... all 4 of us sitting on Brookes bed laughing about the memories of Haley, Brooke, and I being stupid little girls.

"I can't believe you remembered that!" I laughed as Brooke recalled my not so great move when I made out with Tim of all people at a party.

"Oh I so do P. Saywer... you were all over him in your drunken state. I was waiting for you to maul him right there on the couch in front of half the basketball team"

I buried my face in my hands while my face turned a bright shade of red.

"You are sooo evil Brooke." I glared at her trying not to laugh, but it was no use. I couldn't help it.

"What about the time I caught you half naked in Nathan's dad's bedroom? Huh? What about that."

"That was a mistake and you know it" Brooke yelled as she threw a pillow at me.

"Didn't look that way to me. Seems you were getting a little comfy in his bed awaiting his return." I threw the pillow back and Haley almost rolled off the bed from laughing so hard.

"I thought it was Nathans room!! And Haley you really shouldn't be laughing... I remember when you wound up making out with mouth. Remember that by any chance"

Haleys face must have turned six different colors when Brooke said that.

"It was on a dare Brooke! And I'll so have you know... you made out with him first!"

My head whipped around so fast I thought I was gonna need a hospital. "You did what?!" I threw at Brooke.

"He was just so lonely. I felt bad for him." She laughed as did we all.

"Seems you guys were some crazy girls back in highschool" Brandi said through her laughs.

"Just a little" I said.

Our fun little night came to an abrupt halt as we heard the slow wrapping on the front door.

"I'll get it" Haley said as she jumped up off the bed.

Brooke, Brandi and I continued laughing about our past as Haley wandered off.

"God I miss those days" Brooke said as the laughter finally died down.

"So do I."

"It's so good to have you back P. We missed you" I gave Brooke a hug and told her I missed her too.

"It's been way to long"

"Yea it has." She said as she pulled away. "But it seems Miss Brandi here has done a great job with keeping you in tact while you were away."

I looked at Brandi and we both laughed. "I try" Brandi said as Haley walked back in the room.

"Umm... guys?" She said as we all looked up at her. "We... may have a bit of a problem."

Brooke looked from her to me and then back. "And that would be..." She questioned.

"Seems Lucas recognized that familiar black car thats now parked outside the house."

My eyes got so wide they should have popped out of my head. The things running through my head were fear related. I needed to get out. I wasn't ready to talk to him just yet. Not after having a good normal night with my three best friends.

"Make him leave" Brooke rushed as she got off the bed and headed to the door looking out into the living room.

"He won't. Not until he sees Peyton."

Brooke and Haley both looked at me with sad expressions. I turned to Brandi and she smiled.

"It's now or never girly" Brandi got up off the bed and walked out with Brooke and Haley following closely behind.

"Not now" I whined as I got up off the bed and headed to the window.

"Going somewhere?"

His voice was like sharp daggers piercing straight through my heart. So warm yet so cold all at the same time. I knew he was upset with me. I didn't need to turn around to know that.

I kept my stance looking out the window as he closed the door. "You were at the restaurant tonight weren't you?" He questioned knowing I wouldn't answer.

"I knew I'd seen that car somewhere. I just can't believe I didn't place it sooner. The letter today should have given it away, but it didn't. And that girl... She knew me. She knew what I was going through when I was talking about you. That's why she helped me out so much cause she knew"

He seemed like he couldn't just wrap his head around what was going on. Me being here seemed to be the last thing he expected.

He walked up behind me and slowly got me to turn around and face him.

"So beautiful." I shyed away as my eyes flew to the floor. "You always were. The most beautiful girl to ever enter a room. You carried yourself with grace and confidence. Like nothing could touch you. Eyes that could stop a man dead in his tracks and get lost in them for hours." I slowly looked up to meet his baby blue eyes and he smiled. "There they are." I cracked a smile before turning my eyes away. This was harder than I could have ever imagined.

"Can we talk?" He asked motioning towards Brookes bed.

"Sure" I followed him a sat on the edge as he sat down beside me.

"I missed you." Why did the first thing to come out of his mouth have to make my heart melt and crumble all at once.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know why you did it. And I'm happy you did. You needed to get away from all of this. I just wish you would have said goodbye. That's all"

I looked over to meet his eyes searching for clues to how he was feeling.

"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. It was just too hard to muster up the courage to come talk to you. I did miss you though. A lot. You're the main reason I came back." I pulled my eyes away from his afraid to show him how vulnerable I was at this point. I was already starting to crack. I didn't want to get any worse.

Before I knew it he had pulled me into a hug and I excepted without question. It felt good to be back in his arms.

"How about from this point on... you don't leave without saying goodbye... and I'll consider this whole situation... done."

I smiled because I know he meant it. He wouldn't bring up this situation or talk about it anymore just so long as I swore to never leave without saying goodbye first.

"Deal" I let a true smile fall on my face as I just stared at him and those eyes... those eyes still get to me. So warm and loving. That's what I was most happy to see. That he still cared.

He pulled me into one more hug before standing up off the bed and holding out his hand. "How about we go play some cards with those girls and show them what losing is all about."

I laughed. "You remember?"

"I remember everything." I grabbed his hand and walked to the door with him. He was slow to open it up though. He looked down at me and smiled as he leaned in and gave me the most innocent yet loving kiss I've ever had. "Now we can go"

I smile bigger than I have all year with just that one kiss. It seems no matter the distance and no matter the cause... Lucas will always be the one to make me happier than I could ever be.

**OK... I am sooo sorry about the long wait on this update, but with all the great reviews I got I had to make sure it was perfect!! I hope you guys liked it and as always... leave a review!! It makes me update faster!! LOL!! Ok... maybe not faster... but the work is ten times harder!!**

**LOVE SHELL**


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